Sunday, February 8, 2015

Enough With the Labels

I am a vegan, but I wear leather shoes.

I am a marathon runner, but stay out all night partying.

This is my life partner, but hate that term, even though marriage doesn't define the relationship either.

I am a vegetarian, but I love to eat bacon.

I am straight, but occasionally have sex with my same gender. 

I am gluten free, but love beer.

We like to label everything and labels are important to our society. It allows others to understand you. If there is a label people know where to compartmentalize where you fit in their brain, in their social circle, in the world. When you don't fit in the label, or when there is no label to fit you or your lifestyle choices, people ask a lot of questions, or don't and walk away confused.

I get why we have labels, but I hate them. Why do we care so much if each of us fits into a predefined explanation of diet, love, lifestyle choices, sexual orientation, etc. We are all unique and all our own you, so why do we need to be defined by general labels? With whatever label we give our selves or society asks us to put on ourselves, there is always a disclaimer after that states, "well, but..."

The irony is most labels don't fit anyone, yet we feel obligated to use them for ease of conversation, "Oh thank you, I can't I'm a vegan," but honestly we are not any one thing and I wish we could just be, without labels, without excuses, without explanation - us.

If you want to eat meat in the winter because you live in Antarctica and it warms you, yet you identify best with the label vegan for the remaining 9 months of the year, then eat your beef, pack on some winter pounds, listen to your body.

If you are in a monogamous relationship and both can talk openly about your sexual needs and have sex with other people from time to time, then do it, don't be limited by the term monogamy or open. Just be you, in your relationship, and if it works for your relationship than that is what matters.

The thing is we are so concerned about fitting in and being defined by terminology that other people and society understands, that we all are forced to live by the limited terminology. Then when asked, you have to somewhat defend who you are because you don't exactly fit the term, but who the hell does? If we all just stopped worrying about fitting in and just were our unique, real, freaky, meat eating, vegan, sex loving selves we would all learn to love and accept each other a little more. If we all let our freak flags fly we would realize that none of us are 100% defined by any term and therefore the terms are useless. We would learn to accept each other as we are, as individuals, as unique and defined only by you, your actions and your heart.

So go be your vegetarian, boozing, cross-dressing, meat eating, church going, table dancing, marathon running, all-loving self if it is the most authentic version of you.