I am at a work conference in Boston, which is supposed to be exciting, intriguing and informative, which I gather it is, for those who want to be here and love the industry they are in.
The only thing I keep thinking to myself, lecture after lecture, is I so don't belong here and I SO don't like my job.
I am currently a Director of Sales and Marketing for a publishing media company. I took the job because of the hefty pay increase and the excited presumption, and naive hope, that I would be doing more marketing than sales management. I should have known better. I clung to the idea that marketing is creative to a certain extent and the idea of coming up with exciting ways to brand a long standing institution that never viewed marketing or branding itself in the past, was alluring. This however is not even 5% of my job. The "and marketing" should really just be dropped from my title. I knew what a sales manager was. It is a very data driven, spreadsheet loving, analytical job coupled with the management of a team of sales reps that look to you for guidance, leadership, Ra-Ra, problem solving, and sales advice. I can do a lot of those things if it is for something I love. And I am great at leading a team. But sales is not one of those things I love. The word alone makes me want to run. Did I tell you I hate sales people and pitch-y conversations? Yeah, I know, what the hell am I doing in an industry that I knew I loathed from day one. A nice paycheck will make people do stupid things and go against who you know who you are at your core. Hi my name is stupid.
Bottom line. I hate my job. It is such an unnatural fit. And sitting through sales lecture after sales lecture is just rubbing salt in the festering wound that is my unhappiness with my job.
In the IIN® course I'm taking we are taught the necessity to focus on primary foods first and then secondary foods will fall into place. Primary foods are those things that feed us, at our core, in this life: relationships, career, movement/exercise and spirituality. Secondary foods are actually the whole foods we eat. The thought is that if your primary foods are not in balance then you will struggle with eating well, because imbalance in our primary foods leads to poor food choices, decisions, emotions and cravings.
I have secondary foods down pat. I love eating well. I love cooking. I love the farmers market and pressing my green juices. And all but the one of my primary foods is in balance and thriving. But it is so red-siren-blaring-flashing obvious that my job is the doom of my existence, no amount of kale, green juice and yoga will fix it. I get this little stress spot on my face, that is scaly and red, and it is a daily reminder, when I have it, that my body is actually rejecting the daily drudge of my job.
And the funny thing is we tell ourselves that career is not that important, but when you think about it, on a work day we most likely spend more hours at our job than we do with our spouse! Shouldn't it be something you like? Something you want to spend a large portion of your day doing?
I think so. I am convinced in this lifetime I will have a career I love. One that I don't feel takes more of me than I want to give. One that I enjoy getting up and doing 4-5 days a week. One where I feel I am making a difference in the world, in other people's lives and in my own. And I have learned that the hefty paycheck is really not that important to me. I would rather have a fulfilling career and make little money, than the current position I am in.
Enrolling in Institute of Integrative Nutrition® was that first step for me. I look forward to my class every week and I gobble it up as soon as it is available. All I want to do is my classes and wish I could know it all tomorrow and be a practicing Health Coach tomorrow. The thing is I kind of have always been a health coach. For as long as I can remember people have come to me about their diet concerns, exercise questions and ailment issues. I have always been the person people come to with their problems. I have been a health coach for many years without even knowing there was a title for such a job or that I could and probably should have been charging for my services all these years, ha.
It is really quite amazing that IIN® came into my life at exactly the moment I needed it. This might be the universe's way of telling me I am headed in the right direction and boy does it feel good.
