My journey started almost 4 years ago with gluten. I was tired of feeling horrible, grumpy, lethargic and sick all the time and I figured cutting out gluten couldn't be any more painful than the pain I was already in. 6 months after that I cut out lactose and most dairy. Slowly and naturally, I ate less and less meat and dairy and more veggies.
With my Institute for Integrative Nutrition Health Coach course I am learning new things weekly. Within the course we are encouraged and greatly intrigued (at least I am) to try the diets we are learning about. A few days ago I decided to start a 21 day vegan kickstart-esqe type challenge as encouraged by the recent lecturer Neal Barnard, MD. I know I have a problem with dairy, yet I continue to eat it (because it is oh so good and one of my last vices), but Dr. Barnard convinced me to see if I can go vegan. Also I'm just recovering from a nasty cold (I rarely get sick) and the idea of reintroducing dairy feeling disgustingly mucus-y, so why not start now. While not following the PCRM Kickstart to the t because of my gluten sensitivity and I know well enough how to eat vegan without much guidance, I am trying to eliminate what remaining animal products I still consume: yogurt, kefir, aged cheddar, butter, chicken and fish from time to time, for the next 21 days.
It never occurred to me that my personal food journey would effect my loved ones around me. I figured I might inspire or encourage. My family is extremely supportive and encouraging, but when you are the sole cook and grocery shopper in the house and you make radical dietary changes and those tasks fall under your responsibility, by default the people in your house are effected. I kept thinking this is my journey, my experience, "A" can do whatever he wants and eat whatever he wants, and he does. But I realized today that it's not that simple.
Food is important to us. We have always bonded over food. When we first started dating I tried to wow him with my cooking and I did. I always felt great pride when he would brag to his friends about how good my cooking is. I was always looking up new recipes that would entice his taste buds and yearn for the mmm moan. We love to try new restaurants. Not much changed when I went gluten free. It didn't effect A much. He continued to eat his gluten with abandon and life continued. But the more I move through my food journey and the more I continue to cut out, the further we are getting from enjoying the same food journey together. We have always valued cooking together and enjoying a meal together, but now my meal is not the same as his meal. My cooking is not what he wants and needs. His food needs are very different than mine. But because I cook and shop he is now eating, sometimes, the meals I make. He cannot be sustained on a vegan nor vegetarian diet. His is a carpenter which demands a lot of energy in a day and if he doesn't eat protein a few times a week he feels weak.
Don't get me wrong, he is by no means a meat and potatoes kind of a guy. He has vegetarian parents and will happily eat a vegetarian meal, but the more I learn, the more I experiment and the more I cut out, the less he can get from the food journey I am on.
Sure he knows he should eat more greens, and he does when I make them. But I am eager to try real, whole, food in its natural way, without much deviation. And while the vegan thing is new, and possibly temporary, maybe it is not. I am really looking forward to a raw diet experiment this summer (Why wait until summer, you ask? Raw food has a cooling effect on the body and in the winter, especially like the one we've been having, you naturally want warming foods. It is poor timing. In the summer you want cooling foods, so I will wait). I never intended to drag anyone into my food journey experiment, especially not the more radical ones like vegan and eating raw, but by default A is getting dragged. Poor guy.
We had a very eye opening conversation today because making sure he is full and satisfied by my cooking has always been extremely important to me - it is how I express my love to a certain degree. But now I am not doing that, nor satisfying him, because our food needs are entirely different. This is hard for me. I had to wonder if there was dissatisfaction outside of the food-love, which he readily assured me was not the case. Phew.
A encourages, support and wants me to completely immerse myself in the IIN® course. He understands the value of my experimentation especially when I start taking on clients. It will help me understand different viewpoints, but he also pointed out I will most likely deal with people more stubborn and less open than he is when it comes to food. (He is so wise). So this is a good lesson too.
It is interesting how much food and nutrition is such a personal journey, and for me emotional to a certain degree, because I am learning so much and questioning a lot of what I used to hold true about food. I have always loved food, but it was gooey, meaty, cheese, flavorful, bountiful food, and while I still love food, I love it in a different way; a nourishing, nutrient dense, quality first sort of a way.
Unintentionally, I have changed the household dynamic of food and A either needs to eat my way or start cooking for himself again, which is a first in our relationship (and not an ultimatum, just a reality). And he is torn between knowing what I am making is probably better for him and he knows he "should" eat it, against what he wants to eat, which sometimes (often) is not brown rice and veggies. (I can hear him saying from our conversation earlier - "Enough with the rice and veggies. You can only eat so much bland f-ing rice and veggies.")
So while we are currently on different food journeys, which didn't even occur to me until today, I hope to one day be able to make vegan and/or vegetarian food that is so scrumptious that even A will like it, and maybe, just maybe, might brag to his friends about how good a healthy dish of mine is.
