I have noticed during the week my food and drinking habits are regimented, timed and cerebral. I eat because I have woken at a time that is forced. I have to eat because I am going to work and I can't eat at my desk when my body actually tells me I'm hungry. I have to eat lunch at a designated lunch time, because I have to go back to work. Sometimes I have to eat lunch quicker, or earlier, or later than I would like because of work. And dinner is impacted by the remainder of my day at work, my workout schedule, my energy and the energy of my Honey's day too.
The weekend days and days where I don't work, the days that are mine, I eat completely different. Food is not regimented or cerebral. It is a visceral, enjoyable, a non-thought process way of eating. On the days that I do my IIN class for the week, I feel so nourished, emotionally and mentally, knowing I am working to a better more fulfilling future that food is celebratory, nourishing, healthy and fulfilling in a way that is simple, satisfying and honest. On these days and most weekend days I do not immediately wake and eat food. I have no need to. Nowhere to go, no schedule to abide by. I can eat based on my body's need and not the time on the clock. This unregimented schedule allows me the capacity to really listen to my body's needs and real hunger. I think so often we get caught up in the schedule of the weekday hectic-ness that meal times are scheduled regardless of what our body needs.
I notice I eat a lot more on the weekdays that I do on the weekends. I think because my weekday schedule is not natural for me and also I am not as tuned into my body's needs as much as I am tuned into the forced schedule of a 9-5 job.
On "my days", I start with a morning cup of green tea, with the occasional splurge of a single cup of coffee, sit on the sun porch on warm mornings, or even outside, or curled up in the cozy chair with the dogs and a blanket. Letting the morning grace me slowly and naturally. I love quiet mornings, when we are all still a little groggy. The dogs aren't entirely rambunctious yet and they still want to snuggle in bed or on the couch while I read a good book, catch up on my class, or even sometimes watch a DVRd favorite show or movie. (Ever since I was a kid there is something nostalgic and cozy about starting a weekend morning with a favorite show you waited to watch in anticipation of Saturday morning cuddles and tea; or a perfectly reflective, inspiring or romantic movie that sets the tone of the day.)
Oli helping me study
Typically we don't eat until mid-day, sometimes skipping a formal breakfast in lieu of a brunch-type meal either leaning toward lunch or breakfast foods depending on the mood of the day. But the meal is always healthy, nourishing, simple and in smaller portions that we normally gravitate towards on a weekday. Maybe it is because we are not rushing out the door to get to work on time. We have embraced our natural rhythms and had our mornings to ourselves that food is a secondary thought, only speaking up as minor hunger pangs arrive.
Weekends are always the time when I feel inspired to try a new recipe or create an exciting meal and have friends over for dinner. There is something nourishing on a soul level that food is no longer a cerebral process, instead is a relationship between me and the food, me and A, us and our friends, us and the natural rhythm we prefer to have when left to our own devices.
It is funny, you would think that with the regimented schedule of the week we would eat better, more consciously, but when you both are unhappy with your jobs and each workday is an emotional and physical struggle, even when you say to yourself you don't turn to food for comfort, release, stress, what have you, we all do. Even the most strong willed will rely on food, or abstain from food, in an effort to counter something else imbalanced in our lives. You wouldn't think that something so simple as nourishment would be directly connected to our emotional, physical and mental well-being, but it is.
Next time you have a "you day," a day that is structured, or unstructured for that matter, just the way you like, the way that feels the most natural for you, a day where no one else's needs are of your concern, take note of your connection with food. Pay attention to what you eat. When you eat. How much you eat. Your emotional and mental connection to what you are eating. Is there even an emotional or mental connection? (And if don't allow yourself "you days" - that is no longer acceptable. Start with just a single day a month. Get a babysitter. Tell your Honey to go off with his buddies. Whatever it takes, allow yourself a day that is entirely yours. You need and deserve that day. So start now.)
If you are anything like me, those "you days" are the few days a week where food is an afterthought, a non-thought for that matter. I go about my day and then go oh, I guess I'm kind of hungry. I always reach for something light, nutritiously dense and healthy. I lean towards a more liquid diet naturally. A diet full of fresh pressed green juices, or smoothies, lots of greens and fruit. Only eating perhaps 1 or 2 formal meals in that day; rather then my standard, almost mandated work week of 3 square meals. And my portions are noticeably smaller. The food tastes better, maybe because I am allowed the time to really taste it and savor it. And the concern of healthy vs not, nourishing vs filling a void, all goes away.
It is simply beautiful, uncomplicated foods that make me feel amazing. The food and my connection with the food is an extension of my day of connecting with myself, allowing me to be me, whole, unabashedly "selfish" and learning to listen, acknowledge and let myself be. Be nourished, loved, whole, healthy, beautiful, happy, fulfilled me.
