This time we went to Portland to do Portland proper. We stayed right in town, biting the bullet and paying the extra $100-ish to be within walking distance of everything, and have a water view! Oooo snazzy, right?! A man only turns 36 once!
A and I had not been to Portland in the proper-do-it-up-Portland-way since the food scene really burst. If you do not know, or have not heard (do you live in a cave?) Portland is food heaven. I want enough time, money and a-not-give-a-shit-attitude to get gargantuan fat on all the deliciousness that Portland has to offer. And in all my attempts to hit the best rated places and stay up to date with mutual foodie drooling friends, I always manage to be somewhat behind the newest gotta-go-there-place. Le sigh! If only someone wanted to fund my gluttonous happy growth into obesity. Any takers?
It is probably good we don't live in Portland. All income would go to food and booze. We love trying new food, seeing new restaurants. We love people watching with good cocktails and the options in Portland are endless.
There are my go-to favs that I had not had the chance to take A to yet. Like I said we are normally passing through, so either it is convenience over waiting in line, say at Duckfat (Drool! He STILL doesn't know what he is missing. I have tried to make him stand in the around-the-block-line 3 times now, each time he complains and doesn't want to wait....if ONLY he knew!!! How can anything ever not be worth a wait when it is fried/grilled in duck fat? Duck fat?! And Belgium fries, with sauces you want to slather all over your body and a cold brew...I can't! But apparently A can't wait in line long enough to get to the point of drooling, which inevitably happens when the name is even mentioned. If only he knew! And if only he would wait in the damn line!)
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| Duckfat deliciousness. Photo courtesy of justaddcheese.com. |
So although we didn't make it to Duckfat yet again, we made it our mission to gallivant around, try a drink and a nibble, at the places I wanted to take him to or those that caught our eye along the way. We were fat (in a reasonable, still gluttonous, but not protruding sort of a way. I realize gargantuan doesn't happen in one night (try as I might).) and well boozed by the end of the night.
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| Walter's calamari |
It was SO much fun. Everything, as always, was amazing. Walter's calamari - oh yeah - "best calamari [he's] ever had!" Zapoteca's habanero watermelon margaritas, die! Salsas, so different and cool. Guac! ::drooly face:: Local 188 is always a great venue, great for people watching, awesome, quirky bartenders, AHmazing drinks (and food, which we didn't have this time). We visited so many other places they're starting to blend together. Mmmmm.
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| Zapoteca quac |
Otto's pizza is my idea of a perfect slice, to which they serve into the wee hours of the night, after boozy people flood the streets of Portland. It is cracker thin crust, with just enough chew that you gotta pull, the dough is slightly sour, the toppings range from typical to amazeballs. Every slice I have ever had is delicious. We hoofed it up to Otto's just as bars we pushing people out and A ordered 4 slices as I audibly sighed and moaned, bitterly living vicariously through him. I watched as he bit into his slices, cheese squish noises emanating with each bite, a dribble of grease down his chin, crispy pepperoni......I. Was. Dieing. It was torture watching him. All night long I watched him eat things I couldn't. Things I knew how good they tasted, because since the first time I ever tried them, all I wanted to do was take A so he could enjoy in all my food salivating glory. And here we were doing exactly what I wanted to experience with him as I sent death rays into his forehead as he ate my delicious, my lovable, MY amazing Otto's pizza! How. Dare. He. What the F was I thinking??
OOOOhhh AND to top it all off he didn't like the potato, bacon, scallion pizza!!! WHHAAAaa!!?? I don't like you! (I actually think I said that to him.) Sure bacon, garlic mashed potato and scallion pizza sounds weird (I had the same initial thoughts) but no, it is truly amazing! It is all I ever want whenever we pass Otto's. And he didn't like it!! Enough was enough, the torture was killing me and the dagger to my heart that "those ingredients don't belong on a pizza" BS I ripped it out of his hands and took 2 very large, perfectly greasy, potato-y, bacon-y, cheese-yum bites and closed my eyes. It was just as delicious as I had remembered. Only better. It took everything in my mind to not eat the whole damn slice. I was horrified and slightly concerned I might keel over and die right outside Otto's. I took one last bite, knowing full well I was going to be hating myself within the next few hours, if not definitely by morning.
But here is the thing.....I didn't die! I didn't even have breathing problems. Or a lump in my throat. Nor was I constipated in the morning. I ate gluten and I didn't die!?! Holy crap! I don't know if it was the booze that buffered my typical reaction. Or the fact that is was the pizza of the gods. Or all the walking, who the hell knows?? Either way the inevitable doom I anticipated never came.
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| The famous Otto's bacon, scallion, potato pizza. |
That by no means means I started shoveling gluten down my throat left and right (thank god we left Portland the next morning). But I took my non-reaction as a sign from the Otto's pizza gods that I was supposed to eat 3 bites of their pizza, so all would be right in the world again. And also so the potato, bacon, scallion pizza would not be insulted by A's lame "it doesn't belong on pizza" comment! Shhh, Otto's pizza I still love you (queue petting motion). You don't know until you know and apparently A just doesn't get it.
The reality is I didn't die probably because I have not had gluten in 4 years. My villi are happy. My gut is happy. By bowels like me (most of the time) and the experts say every once in a while, when your gut flora and GI tract are super healthy, even for extremely gluten sensitive people, a wee bit of gluten won't hurt you. And by wee I mean probably no more than the 3 bites I had. I cannot tell you how desperately I wanted to eat the whole slice. But even through my boozy haze I knew better and my strong will stuck by me as I put down the slice of amazingness, still glaring at A due to his sheer stupidity. But at least he had Otto's amazing pizza and got to enjoy the glory of Portland food heaven with me in all proper birthday gluttony (even though I secretly resented him most of the night). Love you dear, happy 36th!
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| Zapoteca watermelon habanero rita. Ole! |
