My mom gave me The Power of Now over a year ago. At the time I had no resonance with it, I actually was kind of like, "Ugh, thanks mom Another self-help book" (cue the eye roll). (My mom is going through a similar spiritual journey as I am at this time in our lives and she loves to share those books that resonate with her - which I am eternally grateful to her, and it is also very fun to be on a unique yet separate journey to someone you love and can talk to). I read it anyway because great people I admire and aspire to be, swear by this book. I thought I should jump on the bandwagon (seeing as I am fully aware of my problem with worrying a little too much about the future).
So I picked up the book as my night time reading (haha, laughing at myself now) and got 3/4 of the way through the book throughout the year. But it was like pulling teeth. The questions seemed redundant. The passages a little woo woo (whatever that means ;p ), but I HAD to trudge through and keep reading. I am going to be spiritually enlightened god damn it! And this book will get me there!
Tried as I might, I just didn't want to pick up the book and each night as I fell asleep (quickly I might add) I was a little more annoyed with it.
Granted a little over a year ago, the idea of self-reflection and enlightenment were not an option. I was miserably unhappy and the emotional turmoil of my career situation ate at me on a daily basis that when barely scratched, would bubble over the top as emotional sludge. In hindsight, while I thought I "should" be reading this book to find enlightenment in that current moment, that now was so far from who I am, that having that mirror reflected in my face made it even more painful. I was SO tired of my story, so stuck in my story and so negative.
To complain is always a nonacceptance of what IS.
Yep, and SO what I was doing.
Wherever you are, be there totally. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally. If you want to take responsibility for your life, you must choose one of those three options, and you must choose now. Then accept the consequences. No excuses. No negativity. No psychic pollution. Keep you inner space clear.
So the mostly read book sat by my bedside table, eventually collecting dust, and eventually got filed on the bookshelf among the already read books, and forgotten.
A lot has changed for me in the last year and that story, that thing, that job that was the unhappiness, the ongoing complaint - required action. I was not able to accept what was, at the moment, nor, could I accept a future of the same. So I acted. As scary as it was, as Tolle says you must chose one of the 3 options, all else is madness (which it was). I had also come to a heart-felt space. I was no longer angry. No longer did I feel taken advantage of. Not seen or heard. Not appreciated. I had encapsulated the experience and learned A LOT about myself - identification of my own self worth and necessity to establish boundaries.
Action arising out of insight into what is required is more effective than action arising out of negativity.
For whatever reason last week, I went right to where the book was on the bookshelf and decided to read it. From the beginning; with fresh eyes, an open heart and mind. It is funny because I completely missed some passages in the intro of the book the first forced read-through, so much that when I read it this time, I laughed at myself out loud as to how oblivious I was!
I trust that this book will find its way to those who are ready for a such radical inner transformation and so act as a catalyst for it. I also hope that it will reach many others who will find its content worthy of consideration, although may not be ready to fully live or practice it.
And
Until you are able to experience what I speak of, you may find th[e] passages somewhat repetitive. As soon as you do, however, I believe you will realize that they contain a great deal of spiritual power, and they may become for you the most rewarding parts of the book.
And
..any teaching that puts the spotlight of attention on the workings of the ego will necessarily provoke egoic reaction, resistance and attack.
I read past the 3/4 of the folded over page from the initial, laborious reading a year ago, in one day! I took notes, wrote in the margins, folded corner after corner of pages, cried, laughed, smiled at myself and completely forgot to eat or pee. I got it! I get it! This book is profound!
That day for me was profound. My life is SO entirely different from where I was over a year ago and now my heart and self are open to this journey I am on (albeit scared when I think about it too much), but right Now all I am is excited and grateful.
That day my heart resonated with my mind and my body with the universe. I read most of the book. I walked on a cold icy beach with my puppies. Sat in the sun on a piece of driftwood, felt only the warmth of the sun on my face, even though it was only 24 degrees out and meditated and felt gratitude and abundance. Then I came home and did yoga. I felt fulfilled and nourished (although I barely ate or even thought of food all day) and was at peace and eternally grateful for my Now.
I am so blessed to have this Now. And I know for my entire life I will have to focus on the Now. I often get worried and caught in the unknown of the future. Failure scares me. The what-if's of the future, of failure hold me back from doing. I think it is a bunch of BS when I hear people or see memes about letting things come to you or surrendering to the abundance or whatever. No, you work hard for what you get. You make shit happen, you make your life what you want, you make yourself successful with hard work and trudging through - but now I am not so sure....maybe there is something about surrendering. About asking for abundance rather than forcing it or demanding it. Maybe synchronicity isn't woo woo.....
I am forever changed by this book and will probably be one of those people who goes on and on about how transformative it is. But it is so true - you have to be open and receptive and for each of us, the journey is different and unique. All I say is don't have resistance.
Live in the now. Love in the now. Because that is all there is.
