I just learned that my alternative living, yoga practicing, vegetarian, gluten free, green juice drinking, nutritional supplements galore consuming, past life, life lesson reading, aura identifier, spiritual guru to hundreds world-wide, spiritual touchstone in our family, and many others' lives, great-aunt has been diagnosed with cancer.
She has lived an incredibly healthy lifestyle for at least as long as I have been alive, probably longer. She is in her mid-80s and is vibrant, healthy and looks 20+ years younger than she really is. She's been doing it "right."
She made it her life purpose to offer spiritual guidance, support and healing for many, many people. I cannot recall the number of times I will get to speaking with someone about spirituality, or auras, or life lessons, and inevitably I will mention my great aunts' name, as she as been a the spiritual guidance for all of us in our very large family, and the person I am talking to will know my great aunt. It has amazed me many a time the lives she has touched, guided and gave purpose to.
And now she has cancer!
She is in good spirits and is feeling alright, but the cancer is at a progressed stage that only chemotherapy will work. Obviously this goes against everything that she has been practicing for years in healing, nurturing and protecting her body. So she will be supplementing the chemo with holistic approaches and many, many supplements.
But I have to ask - what the fuck?? I mean seriously? Embarking on my own journey of spirituality, health, wellness, clean eating and working towards becoming a health coach, I have to wonder is it worth it? My great aunt is the epitome of health and clean living, not to mention spiritual clarity, and for her, of all people, to get cancer, it really make me wonder.
Is clean living, clean eating, meditating, drinking lots of water, exercising regularly, taking your vitamins and nutritional supplements, etc., etc. really worth it?
My heart is aching at the thought of my great aunt being diagnosed with cancer because I love her dearly and she stepped into the matriarchal position when my great grandmother died, but how can someone like her, with her "good" lifestyle choices get cancer?
I know I am ranting and being negative, and yes there is a possibility the chemo will work, 85% chance actually, which is really positive to know. And I know she has lived a wonderful, healthy life well into her 80s and that's worth being grateful for. And I should look at it from that perspective. But still, it begs the question is it all a crap chute?
Eat well, do yoga, find your spiritual guided path, meditate, live happiness, help others or eat junk food, drink often and with abandon, exercise only when it is fun, not for the sake of exercise, smoke....does any of it really matter?
I don't know.
I read a statistic the other day that people who are teetotalers actually have a shorter life span than those who imbibe occasionally, even a drink a day.
What do we really know? Is it all bullshit?
My great grandmother, my great aunt's mom, died at 98 of old age, which almost never happens anymore. People always die of something - cancer, heart disease - of which they say more often than not can be controlled and monitored by diet and lifestyle choices. My great grandma just got old and eventually her body and mind stopped. But she was an hard alcohol loving, cigar smoking, potato chip loving, and eating all foods,bad and good, kind of a woman. She played tennis regularly with her friends and daughters, but did not do much otherwise for exercise. She certainly did not do yoga or drink green juice.
When I compare these two women in my life, these two matriarchal women who have held our family together, yet have led very different lifestyles, I have to compare and wonder. I am consciously choosing similar lifestyle choices to that of my great aunt because they make sense for my body, my mind and I enjoy how my overall well-being feels with these choices. Sure I will occasionally imbibe and eat something I am not supposed to, often remembering every time after that is wasn't worth it, so those indulgent times become less and less frequent. Then I look at my great grandma and wonder, what did she do right? She had her 5 o'clock cocktail and ciggy everyday, a habit that started probably before 18. Yet, she never had any major health scares and didn't get cancer.
Isn't part of why we choose alternative, healthy lifestyles is to feel good and to live as long as possible continuing to feel good, but it seems along the way you should just let go, indulge, imbibe, smoke (well maybe not, that's a generational thing), but at least enjoy the "bad" parts of life from time to time, because if this the only life we get then we may as well be happy.
And maybe that is the key to it all, not green juice and yoga, or alcohol and cigarettes, maybe all that really matters is that when you get to that age - whatever it may be, with or without cancer or any other illness - is that you lived a happy life.
So go be happy. Either by following your yoga and green juice with a glass of wine or skipping it all together to be with those you love.
I love you Aunt Barbra.
