The past few weeks have been more wine, than yoga and sweat *. My day job is all consuming; working 8 until 8 most days of the week of very intense, stress-filled days, leaving little time for much else. While I know this schedule is only temporary, as we move through this tough transition at work, I feel the balance of my life is so skewed and it is exceedingly frustrating, exhausting and unfulfilled.
I relish in the balance of my life, where my personal time, my time to write, to do daily yoga, get restful sleep, to make my home and garden lovely and thrive, and quality time with my family as a healthy and happy balance. It makes me weepy when this balance is disrupted. While I am willing to work long hours to help in a tough time, my work ethic is unwavering, I struggle, as I think many of us do, to maintain a balance of a demanding work schedule and a healthy, happy, fulfilling life outside work.
I dream of getting off the hamster wheel. I am perpetually amazed by those people I see and hear about that manage to survive in an atypical lifestyle, not working a mainstream job or living the mainstream life, I always romantically question, how? And furthermore, how can I?
People like Timber Hawkeye, buddhistbootcamp.com, giving up his corporate unfulfilled life of 60-hour work week to a 20-hour work week to accommodate the living the rest of his simple, and very fulfilled-sounding life in Hawaii. And "Slomo," Dr. John Kitchin, in PB, San Diego, my childhood hometown, who gave up a lucrative career as a doctor to live a life of rollerblading up and down the beach boardwalk every day, simply because it makes him happy. And @yoga_girl, Rachel Brathan, who has turned her life and love of yoga into a lifestyle brand. While she is obviously busy and surely gets exhausted from all the travel and PR she needs to do to promote herself. From her Instagram and blog, she has a seemingly beautiful life, teaching yoga around the world, doing her daily practice and living her life with her dogs and fiancee in Aruba.
Sure, sure I know, we all have our struggles and social media shows the most romantic versions of our lives, so seemingly any one's life is beautiful and balanced in a snapshot. But it makes me wonder, how do people do it? How do you give up the expected job, the expected possessions, the expected grind to live the life you want, follow your passions and live with less, but actually have so much more?
I thought by moving to Maine I had done those things, and in most ways I have, because, my life is beautiful in so many ways. I am by no means complaining. I know my work hours and stress are circumstantial and will pass, but how do you work enough to live, but not so much that it consumes your life?
In my perfect world I would wake up in the morning, drink my green tea in silence looking over our blooming lovely yard, as the dog lays basking in the morning sun, followed by beach yoga and then a smoothie or green juice.
(An aside, any chance you can do yoga on a beach I would highly recommend
it! Last weekend, we snuck away for mini-vacay at a neighboring beach
community. We stayed in a beach-side cottage and were lucky enough to
have the first warm days of spring that made it feel like summer is
quickly approaching. I have always admired the Instagram of people
doing yoga on a beach, like @yoga_girl. But I have never had the confidence to do yoga in public, aside from in a class, where no one is paying attention to you anyway, nor have I felt that I was at a place in my practice where I could do it in public without looking like a goon. I said f-it last weekend and did my yoga on the beach each morning. The rhythm of the waves guiding my breath and soothing my busy mind and the sand between my toes. The connection to the earth, to my body was intoxicating and I cannot wait to do yoga on a beach again. I have found I need yoga in my everyday life, and if that means doing it in public, so be it. So judge me, point, I no longer care, because I am in my own little blissful yoga bubble of calm. If you only knew and were in your own bliss bubble, you would totally get it.)
So while I envy those who make their lives following their passions and hobbies, turning them into a living. It makes me wonder, if your passions and hobbies become work, are they then less enjoyable?
I think many of you struggle with this balance as I do, and maybe you even fantasize about going against the norm and living a life that fulfills your passions, your soul and your heart. If you are one of these people who have managed to make that shift, any words of wisdom are extremely appreciated!
Until I figure out the magical balance, I plan to calm my mind, remind myself that this is just a phase, insist on implementing daily practice back into my life, and if it is on a beach, then that is even better; and continue to contemplate how I can I turn my passions into that which makes my life, and no longer have them just play ancillary roles.
The words of Ben Harper remind me to be grateful, because at the end of the long, stressful and exhausting day, really, truly I am blessed,
"Blessed to be a witness."
