The Not So Safe Safety Bubble

If you have allergies, try as you might to forget them in your day to day, you can't. I think if you have been living an allergy-free lifestyle for a number of years, it becomes part of your every day life. In our little gluten free, lactose free home and bubble, cross contamination is not much of a thought. Also if you are lucky to have a partner who is super supportive and hyper-aware of your allergies, then you forget that the rest of the world has gluten and lactose everywhere, and in everything.

I had family visit over the summer and I was reminded of how gluten and lactose free my bubble really is. We had bought some beautiful locally made artisan bread, which I ate when I was eating gluten. But simple things like using a common cutting board to cut the bread, using the common butter and knife for cutting, and then to not properly cleaning everything off. Even wiping off the knife with the common dish towel and putting it away. Ack! Simple things, really, not even a big deal, unless you have a celiac disease. They meant no harm, and probably weren't even aware, but what was evident to me, is that they don't live in an gluten free home. And man, was it obvious, just how gluten free my home is! And for the record, A, is not gluten free, and there is gluten in my house. He just has gone through my struggle with me, watched me suffer and is so keenly aware of cross contamination, that sometimes I take for granted how conscious he is. <3 <3 (He wins a gold star for sure!)

Even with my dogs, both of whom, have allergies, it too, has become part of our bubble of safety. It is just a part of life. Narrowing down dog allergies is a tricky, long process. (Read my collection of posts about that process here.) There is sooo much that goes into dog kibble. So much bad stuff and fillers, that it has taken quite some time to figure out both of their allergies. Addi, our golden boxer (half boxer, half golden retriever) is allergic to gluten and chicken meal. Oliver, our French bulldog, is allergic to pretty much everything (it's a Frenchie thing): gluten, dairy, eggs, cheese, beef, chicken, duck, any red meat really, on top of his environmental allergies to everything and skin issues, his list is epic!

So what does he eat you might be wondering....after much time, trial and tribulation we landed on Orijen food. It is a very clean (and very expensive) kibble. And the only flavor he can eat is the Six Fish. Another thing that we learned along the way, is often there are multiple kinds of protein in dog food, which can cause allergy flare ups, finding a single protein food is very, very hard. The ratio of protein to carbs to fats, is also a very important factor. Most standard dog foods have too high a percentage of carbs in them. He also takes a daily plant sterol and probiotics. He gets no handouts and only the occasional treat. I know you're thinking, poor guy! But honestly he is a much happier and healthier dog now, than when we got him 2 years ago. If you look at the post from January 18, 2015, you can see just how red and swollen he was when we got him. And now...look at how handsome and healthy and not red he is! Cutie! <3

Our household is a very allergy conscious home, and the doggies and I are grateful. And yet we are reminded how sensitive that daily balance is. We maintain the balance without effort, but when we travelled for Thanksgiving, the balance was knocked off. Our poor little Oli, had a pretty nasty reaction to a combination of things. To no fault of my mom, who watched after them. It was just evident that Addi, Oli and I live on a delicate tight rope of allergies, that doesn't take much to fall off, even when you are actively trying. Even a simple trip to the gas pump, where they offer your dogs treats, has to be an announcement of your allergies. Dog mom panic, "Don't burst the safety bubble!"

That is what is so frustrating, is when you are actively trying and yet you have an allergy attack. If you live with allergies you probably have a similar allergy-free bubble, where your house is safe, your immediate friends and family know and are as accommodating as possible, and you have your favorite restaurants because they are cautious and can accommodate your allergies. You learn to relax a little. To breathe. And trust that your allergy-free bubble is safe. And then you get symptoms! :'(

Right now, I am having respiratory problems. I can't catch my breath, I am wheezing, and my breath is shallow. It's even effecting my sleep. Not fun. There is no glaringly obvious reason for my respiratory problems, which is my first sign of contamination, except the other night. We went out to one of our favorite restaurants, which has long been on the safe list, and yet the other night it wasn't. Something that we have ordered many times before came with breadcrumbs on this time!! Whaaa? Never before, and now all of a sudden?! Annd they skimped on the bacon! Whatthe*$5*grumble grumble! I didn't pay much attention either. I am used to them being safe. I was talking with the bartender and watching the game, until A pointed it out (again <3 him!), he leans over and asks if those are breadcrumbs, and on close inspection they were. Well shit!

So even when you think you are safe, you are not. Lesson learned, always, Always ask questions when you are eating out. And never assume that because it is a restaurant on your safe list, and you've gotten the dish before, that it will stay that way. Things change, restaurants change, heck for all I know if was a new chef! I just get a sad mopey face and am reminded that again my safety bubble is not as safe as I believe.

For people with allergies the holidays are particularly hard. There is so many social events and opportunities for cross contamination. From Thanksgiving on, try as you might, the likelihood of some cross contamination is likely. Unless you are a hermit and don't socialize, or maybe, you are lucky, and have friends and family that are allergy-aware. I am surprised by my current allergy breathing symptoms, but at the same time I guess I shouldn't be. The time of year and a more unusual diet, for me at least, with some likely cross contamination, boom, symptoms. It sucks, because you want to just enjoy the festiveness of the season and eat all the yummies (that you think are safe) around you. You can't. And it is really unfortunate timing too. Christmas festivities are within a few days and really I need to go on a strict cleanse to get rid of whatever is backed up in my body causing my respiratory problems. Bah humbug! 

As much as I want to ignore my symptoms, not being able to breathe is really, really scary. And if I think about it, I am also having digestive issues and not so good poops. So obviously it is all connected. The signs are there, my body is telling me, and now I have to help it out. Part of the process of discovering, managing and living with food allergies is learning your body's symptoms. They are there, however subtle, your body always has a way of saying, "hey that's not working for me," you just have to learn the signs. And once you do, and you figure out your trigger, the symptoms become more obvious, even in the slightest onset.

Good luck throughout your remaining holiday festiveness. I hope you are able to navigate and stay symptom free. And I know, because you are like me, you are hyper-vigilant about cross contamination, but be wary of your vigilance slipping. I think we all want to relax and trust and believe what we know to be, will stay the same, but unfortunately it doesn't. If you have lived allergen free for a long time, and you do have contamination, the likelihood of horrendous symptoms will be less, but still be on the lookout for the more mild symptoms. They are there. Always be on the lookout for daggers that are going to poke your safe, allergy-free bubble.

Let's Get Personal

Let's get personal...personaal (totally intended in the tune of Let's Get Physical by none other than ONJ (that's Olivia Newton-John, BTdubs)). 

For some this may be TMI. And I don't care. I'm going to talk about periods, menstrual cycles, because I have to. Bye all y'all dudes, now is the time to bail. I know "lady stuff" makes you squeamish. For those that stick around and keep reading, you get a gold star sticker, especially if you share this with a lady in your life.

Periods are part of every woman's life. They are normal, they are natural and there is a noticeable difference between a good period and a bad period. Ladies, you know what I am talking about. Some months are awful; cramp-y, cranky, throat-punchy, where every one sucks, you get that massive red zit on your chin that hurts like a motha', you can't eat enough chocolate, wine and potato chips to make the pain stop or make you like anyone, and to top it all off you bleed through everything, on everything, when you are sleeping (hello, more crankiness), when you are out in public and there is abso-fucking-lutely nothing you can do about it, you just hope you have a sweatshirt in your car to tie around your waist. One of Those months...I get it! I've been there! Shit, we (being the proverbial ladies "we") have ALL been there! Some months are certainly better than others.

I have to say as a woman who has spent most of her life on the side of miserable during my period; insane cramps that had me doubled over in pain crying, bloody messiness that is uncontrollable, and the sore rawness that comes with that much clean-up, PMS like no body's business, diarrhea, changing your sheets in the middle of the night, you name it, I've suffered it. To now, being on the other side of miserable periods, let me say, there is hope! Diet and lifestyle changes have made a night and day difference in my life when in comes to my period. Seriously! It seems so simple and unbelievable, but seriously, remove the foods your body doesn't like, give it more whole veggies, fruits and gluten free grains, let me tell you, my periods are totally different than they were for the last 15 years. I remember not going to school, not being able to formulate sentences between sobs of agony and writhing in pain, to regular trips to the toilet for constant diarrhea. I cannot even count the number of times I bled through while sleeping and out in public. I just figured my period was "normal". It was not! At least it doesn't have to be! 

Tuning into your body and listening to it's needs, and making considerable lifestyle changes can make for a much happier period, ie you.

My period is no longer an epic geyser of torrential pain and hormones, it is manageable now. Actually, dare I say, pleasant. What used to be a heavy flow for 5 days straight with epic cramping. I now, have a few cramps on my first day and typically again on my 3rd (which makes no sense to me), but after the first 2 days of a regular flow it lessens considerably the last 2 or 3, to where a panty liner will suffice. This is a huge difference from where I started at 10. Perhaps it is because I am of "childbearing age", but I am not so sure that is only factor. 

As you well know, if you've been following me for some time, I went gluten free, lactose free, and reduced meat, little-to-no processed foods and sugar almost 6 years ago. In that time, every aspect of my life has changed, from my weight, to my seasonal and environmental allergies, to my skin and hair, to my quality of sleep, to my quality of poop and periods, to the clarity of mind, and even a career shift! Phew! It. Is. Amazing. What. Can. Change. If. You. Listen. To. Your. Body.

So the whole reason for this post is something new I am trying and I am so excited to share: for the first time ever, seriously ever, I was excited for my period to start (no, it wasn't the excited, oh shit, I may be pregnant, excitement/fear), it was legit excitement. Why, you may ask, with a side tilt of your head....I bought a Diva Cup! 

For those of you who don't know what a Diva Cup is, it is a menstrual cup that takes place of the standard tampon or pad. It is an eco-friendly, reusable, silicone cup that gets inserted into the vagina to collect the blood during menses. Grossed out yet? I know, I know, just keep reading...

I heard about a Diva Cup from @yoga_girl, Rachel Brathen, whom I love and admire and have been following for a couple years on Instagram. She inspires me in life, love, spirit and in yoga. And during a Facebook Live session she and her friend/business partner Olivia, talked about Diva and Moon Cups. The name had floated through my brain a few times prior, but never stuck. This time it did. So I did some research and was intrigued. 

Sure, I was excited at the prospect of not having to purchase tampons and pads again, and being eco-friendly, but honestly what progressed my interest more, was for the last 6 months to a year, I've been having a problem with tampons. No matter where I am in my cycle, no matter what day, I can always feel the tampon. It was uncomfortable and noticeable. It made me ache and cramp, even smaller ones. They just hurt. It was almost like it felt full all the time, but when I took it out, it never was. As soon as I took the tampon out I would be fine. Cramps, achy-ness, gone. So for the last few months I have been dealing with pads, uggh. Pads suck! I've always slept in pads and used them on light days, but to use them for your entire period is awful. They rub, they make noise, I inevitably bleed over the edges, no matter how many damn wings and "no leak" edges those suckers have, leave it to my body, I leak over those no-leak edges. 

Now I'm gonna get technical-personal, but I guarantee there must be other women like me, women with bodacious backsides. I'm talking about being bootylicious. Let's get real, butts are awesome, and some junk in the trunk is awesomer, but let me clue in into something, as a women with some junk, pads. do. not. work!! If you have a larger derriere that is tight, and you wear a pad, blood comes out between your butt cheeks. There I said it, it's out there. I can't be alone here?? Right? Try as I (I'm hoping we) might in a pad, I walk, I sleep, it goes out your butt and gets everywhere. E.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e! And it is a fucking pain in the ass, ha (couldn't not with the bad pun). Soo, if you are like me and you can't wear tampons because they hurt and pads, well, pads are just useless, unless they wrap around from my belly button to my lower back, I needed an alternative.

I've been seeing those period panties lately, but dude, I don't trust those. Just how, how can there not be leakage? And isn't that more diaper-ish than a pad?? I dunno. So, I bought a Diva Cup. And I've been excited for my period since then. 

Today is day 1, one of my heavy days. I've had it in all day. And it is AWESOME!! Best period ever! I can't even feel it. It doesn't even feel like I am even on my period, or that anything is in there. No cramps, no aches, nada, zilch! I am so excited I am doing a happy dance. I look forward to tomorrow, day 2, my heaviest day, and I'm going to workout too! Today I felt like writing and drinking wine, instead of working out. I had to share with y'all my exciting news! I did walk the dogs, and no leakage, anywhere, all day. I wore a panty liner, just in case. But nothing! I've checked the cup a few more times than I probably needed to (I wasn't sure when it would be "full"), and it was no where near close to full. So now I am leaving it in longer. There was concern about insertion being difficult and leakage. No problem for me. I think you have to be well acquainted with your vagina to even consider using a Diva Cup, because, yes you will have to touch your vagina and even put your fingers inside to adjust and rotate to secure it in place. So if you are not that kind of woman, first let me ask why? And then, I will suggest, maybe work up to a Diva Cup. Go familiarize yourself with your vagina first. I went with Model 1. I am 30 and I've never had a child, but Model 2 just didn't seem right for me. I know I have a narrower vagina, so I was worried that Model 2 may be too big. Again, you gotta know your vagina before you can even purchase a Diva Cup. And really, as woman, shouldn't you be well acquainted with your vagina? I digress. 

I am also really excited to sleep in my Diva Cup! They say you can leave it in for up to 12 hours. At first, that seemed wrong, too long. I would never, ever leave a tampon in that long, but it is not the same. The Diva Cup, sits much lower in the vagina opening and it isn't "absorbing" anything, hence no toxic shock syndrome of a tampon left in too long. Sleeping in a pad as a side sleeper with a tight ass, is a nightmare, literally! I get up all the time in the middle of the night during my period. I have to check it and even sleep with my hands wedged in between my legs to make sure the super, sized nighttime pad plus two liners behind it, don't move, it is awful! And even then, I regularly bleed through. I may for once be able to sleep the whole night through on the first night of my period. Mind blown!

I am beyond excited for my experience and not too ashamed to share it with you all. We need, no, we must talk about this stuff! There is no shame. We are women and we SHOULD have happy periods. Until day 2, wish me good, leak free, stress free sleep tonight. I'll post more tomorrow.

Recognizing Presence

I recently had a wonderful conversation with one of the teen girls I work with as part of a mentoring program:

We paired up to interview each other, asking fun questions like, "What is your favorite cereal?" and "What show do you like to binge watch?" to more intimate questions like, "What is your advice to live by?" We were paired together because of the odd number of students. 

What came of the fun questions was a great conversation about life–all aspects of it, parents, siblings, respect, honesty, chores, sexuality, body image, being introverts, all in all an amazingly beautiful, honest conversation. I like real conversations. The stuff that makes you you. Not the BS adult chit chat, gossip-y conversation that normally ensues. I fucking hate small talk! Talk to me about your passions, what you are doing, your family, your dogs, pretty much anything other than, "Oh how are you? Good. You?" Ughhh! Makes me want to scream. This is why I love teens, they just talk. Sure it is hard at first to get them to open up, but once you do (the secret is food and ask lots of questions) the flood gates open and you learn more than you would ever think possible. I love, love teens for this reason. The pretense, the BS, the showmanship of one-upping each other, nada, we are just two people connecting talking about everything under the sun.

One of the questions on the interview was, "What famous person do you like?" I said Ashley Graham. For those of you who don't know who Ashley Graham is (have you been living under a rock, JK) she is a "plus size" (seriously sarcastic air quotes here, because what is deemed plus size in the fashion industry really is anything over a US size 4, when the average American woman is a 14-16!!). She has graced the cover of Sport Illustrated, Glamour, Elle, and so many other major media publications, which is her job, she's a beautiful model, but what I love her for is her activism. Her body positivity and debunking the fashion industry myth that only skinny is pretty. She is real–cellulite, stretch-marks and all. She's a size 16 and she prances around in lingerie and bikinis in shoots and on the beach. She is graceful and beautiful, yet goofy and humble. She is relatable and I think so many of us are looking for relate-ability in media now.

The girl I was speaking to, didn't know who Ashley Graham is, so I hope she looks into her and finds inspiration like I do (or at least a source that is relevant to her), but she said something amazingly profound about how we feel about ourselves based on the people we surround ourselves with. This is true! If you surround yourself with people who love themselves (not in an egocentric way), but truly love self and accept their self as they are, being around them, innately makes you feel more comfortable in your skin.

Being a teen is incredibly challenging for that very reason, you are not sure of yourself. As are none of your peers. Most of teen years are spent comparing, adjusting, judging yourself to those around you, who are just as unsure of them selves! (Are adults really any different??)

That's why I think role models, regardless of that buzzy term, let's say people in media, must show the diversity of who we are. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and colors. Stretch-marks, cellulite, rolls and all. Celebrities are unattainable and often not relatable, yet so many of us look to them for a sense of self-worth or something to compare to or judge against, but really what anyone really needs is someone to relate to. To see a bit of themselves in that person.

"If you are drawn to [someone], it is because there is already enough presence in you to recognize presence in another." Eckart Tolle

There is a level of acceptance and comfort in your own skin that comes with time, and also with stopping the rampant comparison of each other. I spent so much of my youth wishing I was shorter, had smaller boobs and butt and thighs, that my stomach was flatter and, and...but at some point you have to realize this is your body and it does amazing things for you each and every day. 

We take our bodies for granted, continually hating on the parts, not nourishing it properly, talking badly about it, sucking it in and wrapping it up, and yet it is still there each morning, pumping blood to your heart, allowing you to breathe and get out of bed. You can either spend the rest of your life self loathing and hating that body or love the pieces that make up the whole. I am by no means saying it is any easy, overnight process. It takes time. Self-love. Self acceptance. Self reflection. Movement. Proper nourishment and some meditation. And even then, some days are better than others, but we have to take them in stride. We are all our own worst critics. It is a life lesson for all of us to really be in our bodies. To accept it as it is, or change it if you really want, but in real, loving, healthy and supportive ways.

We see beauty in others and compare ourselves, often in the negative, rather than seeing the beautiful parts that are also in us. Tolle has it right, there is something in someone else that draws us to them, and you have a bit of that something in yourself. If you can see it in someone else, work to try to see it in yourself.

How to Control Your Seasonal Allergies Symptoms with Diet

I have a love/hate relationship with fall in Maine.

Yes, it is beautiful, the leaves, the cool air, the lacking of tourists and bugs, but with fall comes allergies for me. In fact researchers think nasal allergies affect about 50 million people in the United States. And allergies are increasing. They affect as many as 30% of adults and 40% of children. www.aafa.org/page/allergy-facts

I've always had allergies, it is only until I moved to Maine that they became a major problem in my life. Spring and fall have been dreaded seasons for me since I moved here and until the last few years were debilitating months.

I remember one fall being so sleep deprived because of my allergies and congestion that I couldn't sleep and when I would finally fall asleep I would wake in a panic unable to breathe lying down. All I could do was sleep sitting up with a fan directly on my face. The combination of fear of suffocating in my sleep, the exhaustion and overall stress still horrifies me to this day, as in, I never, ever want to go back to a time like that.

I know so many people who suffer with seasonal allergies and the symptoms are getting worse, not better. I used to be a statistic until I made radical lifestyle changes. Sure I can pop an OTC antihistamine or use my rescue inhaler, but that doesn't feel right for me, in fact, both are last resorts. I haven't had an active rescue inhaler prescription for the last 3+ years and I take Allegra only in a dire situation.

I have changed my approach with my seasonal allergies, as something my body is telling me, but also as a time for me to reset, which actually feels natural and in sync with the changing of the seasons. With these changes, I have been able to have mild to no seasonal allergy symptoms for the last 2 years with seasonal changes in my diet alone. 

I noticed a considerable difference in my seasonal allergy symptoms when I identified my gluten and lactose intolerances and removed those foods from my diet 6 years ago, but now I can mitigate further seasonal aggravations by eliminating nightshades and alcohol as well.

Nightshades contain alkaloids which can aggravate or even mimic seasonal allergy symptoms. Nightshades include potatoes, peppers (all kinds except black pepper), eggplants, tomatoes, tobacco and some more esoteric things like goji berries and some version of blueberries or huckleberries. Unfortunately, fall is also harvest season in our garden and almost everything coming out of the garden is a nightshade. Nightshades allergies are a problem for some even when seasonal allergies aren't being triggered and can look and feel similar to seasonal allergies, year-round. Nightshades cause inflammation and joint pain, specifically lower back pain (dead ringer for me there). The research available on nightshade allergies is abundant when you search Google, so I will let you do your own research, however, this time of year cutting out nightshades for me is a night and day difference when it comes to my allergy symptoms, so perhaps you might consider doing the same.

If I stick to a strict vegan-paleo diet, aka Pegan, coined by Dr. Mark Hyman, with no nightshades or alcohol, that is heavy on veggies, gf whole grains, beans and some animal protein and fruit, I have considerably less allergy symptoms, and I can't recall the last time I took an OTC antihistamine.

Seasonal allergy sufferers are on the rise, unfortunately, and beyond the environmental allergens around us, especially in a heavily wooded place like Maine, there are allergy inducing, inflammation triggering foods we eat every day. If we limit our intake of those foods, especially when the environmental ones are high, you have the power to control your own symptoms. It is actually a really cool revelation to have come to this point where I can see directly the foods I eat, the time of year and how by controlling what I eat in the fall and spring actually allows me the ability to not dread the standard seasonal allergy seasons. I can see fall for all it's colors and beauty instead of dreading it for all the pollen and sneezing it used to make me suffer through.

There is great power in knowing your body well enough and knowing that nourishing it with foods that support and sustain health, rather than aggravate and inflame, is amazing. It is amazing to know that if I wake up in the morning and have a congestion and a sneezing fit, all I have to do is look at what I ate the day before to realize what the culprit was.

The ability to recognize your sensitivities and triggers does not happen over night, nor are you able to associate your seasonal allergy symptoms as being triggers by potatoes or gluten or dairy, without first knowing what it feels like to not have those foods in your system, causing potential inflammation. 

The journey is challenging, but you don't have do it alone. I find the power of food and the way it makes us feel, in particular to allergies, seasonal and food related, is fascinating. It is a journey everyone should be willing to explore because knowing you have the ability to make yourself feel better just by the food choices you make in a day is powerful. You aren't relying on a pill to temporarily brain-fog-alright the symptoms away. You can learn that by simply removing a trigger for a short period of time can alleviate a multitude of symptoms that you would otherwise have to sniffle, snort, and wheeze and generally feel like crap through.

To learn more about how to control your seasonal allergy symptoms with diet, contact me at alixhealthcoach@gmail.com or visit eatbelivewell.com.

Health Russian Roulette

I have been playing Russian Roulette with my health and diet lately. Ignoring all the past-month warning signs has led to the explosive (literally :o) misery of the last 2 days. Ugghh... :(

I have been thoroughly enjoying my foodie filled summer of sunny days, long nights, plenty of BBQs and social gatherings. With these indulgences I have been lax in my typically regimented eating. I am normally gluten free and lactose free always. Minimal meat and dairy. Lots of veggies and whole gf grains. But lately, yeah...not so much. Eat it all has been my MO, cross my fingers, and hope for the best, so far it hasn't caught up with me...

Especially given the bounty of our glorious garden this year, one would think I would I would be eating veggies all-day-erry-day, which I am, BUT I am eating mostly nightshades–peppers, tomatoes, eggplants and potatoes–all of which we are harvesting aplenty right now. While I love these veggies, hence why they populate most of our garden real estate; did you know, nightshades aggravate seasonal allergies? Who knew, right?! Ever notice that your allergies are awful in the fall, ever notice how many garden fresh tomatoes you are consuming at that time, weird correlation. Nightshades cause an inflammatory response in the body and when your body is already on high inflammation alert because of the environmental allergens, the double whammy is a double sniffly-uck-fest for all those seasonal allergy sufferers. 

So while we have been subsisting on nightshades for the last month–hello fresh pasta sauce, caprese, eggplant parmesan, all of which of course must include an abundance of cheese (another food I must avoid). I have been extra "allergy-y" lately and ignoring the signs. I wake up sneezing, having sneezing fits regularly, extra drippy nose, taking my seasonal allergy meds daily, regularly feeling achy in my hips (huge red flag: In fact, scientific research suggests that up to 90% of individuals who suffer from any form of pain or discomfort in the body are sensitive to nightshades–which can trigger an inflammatory response.) I have even had this weird rash around the corners of my mouth (which in Chinese medicine is a sign of a stomach/intestinal infection/discomfort) and yet, keeping on eating my tomatoes and eggplants and cheese, and...

A cheese stuffed pepper and tomato dinner Friday night, led to horrendous gas, lower back and hip aches, and ultimately explosive, diarrhea that has lasted for 2 days now. Gross, ew, don't talk about that stuff, I know, but seriously, we have to talk about it. I have been blatantly ignoring what my body has been subtly telling me for over a month, and now here is my payment, shitting water and stomach cramping for 2 days. I am even telling myself, "I told you so!" 

Isn't it so funny how we play Russian Roulette with our health and the way we eat? We all know what makes us feel better and what is good for us–lots of water, a diet of mostly veggies, limited meat, dairy and processed foods, exercise daily, good restful sleep, yada, yada, yada–we get it! We all know what we "should" be doing and yet we don't do it. Or we do, but on a short term basis. We'll "be good" for a month, 3 months, 6, whatever the timeline is, yet most of us (there are the few that have iron-clad will power and discipline–aliens?) will test our limits, "fall off the wagon", challenge if dairy really gives me gas that clears the room as I writhe in pain, that " 'one piece of fresh whole wheat bread and butter won't kill you' "– but in fact it will. We all know our body's limits and yet we continually test them. Why is that?

We all know when, what, how and why our body is mad or explosively diarrheating all over the place because you ate too much cheese, and yet we still eat the cheese. It is funny how we do that! I know personally I get SO sick of being aware, of having to worry about bringing my own snacks, literally everywhere I go, of having to say, "Oh that looks delicious but I can't", of being the "gluten free girl" the "lactose free girl", the "what crazy thing don't you eat now, girl". I just want to eat and enjoy and live, goddamnit! I don't want to have to worry about my butt exploding or my stomach retching from the inside, or zits appearing as a warning sign that my insides are not happy! Why does my body hate all the foods I love so much?!? 

I know, I know, pity party for one. My rant is over. It has to be, as does my episode of "falling off the wagon". For the last month, that little voice in my head has been very vocal–"Oh, you know, you should really be eating better." "Umm, hello, you can't eat that!" "You'll be sorry if you keep eating like that." "You know, fall is coming–which means, heinous allergy season, you better clean up your act girlie!" What!? You don't have a guilt-tripping-nagging voice in your head all day tell you what you know is better for you?

So, fine. I am waving the white flag, since the bright neon red flags have been evident for over the last month. I surrender. I must be good or else...dun..dun..dunnnahhh! The last two days of misery are enough of a "sign" to shape up. As I write I am drinking a glorious (although horrible tasting) green juice, from all fresh veggies from our garden (and no nightshades). Side note: I have this theory that the worse it tastes, the more your body needs it. Ever notice how some green juices taste awful, while others are delish, and how even the exact same yucky one will taste fine the next time you make it? I think the same thing about wheatgrass shots, if it tastes awful and you gag at the smell of if, do it, drink it up and maybe do it again. While green juice is the last thing I want right now, I really want potato chips and wine, but given that I haven't eaten for two days, I am thinking green juice is the right nutrient boost my insides need, yes, it might give me more diarrhea, but at this point, what's a little more ammo for the explosives.

My moral of this shitting water story for you, (please learn from my lessons), our body's give us signs, small at first, then very obvious. Some of us ignore the signs, unknowingly perhaps, or intentionally. We, you, me, we all, know what our body's need. Each of us is unique in our needs, and only you can know and identify those needs. We must know those needs and also our limitations so that when the signs are there we know how to right the path. To be our own arbiters of health. To know how far you can push yourself (regardless if we should or not). 

It is a choice to choose health, and also to ignore health. If you know the difference and learn to trust that your body is your guide; so long as you learn your signs, we are all be able to achieve our optimal health.