Recognizing Presence

I recently had a wonderful conversation with one of the teen girls I work with as part of a mentoring program:

We paired up to interview each other, asking fun questions like, "What is your favorite cereal?" and "What show do you like to binge watch?" to more intimate questions like, "What is your advice to live by?" We were paired together because of the odd number of students. 

What came of the fun questions was a great conversation about life–all aspects of it, parents, siblings, respect, honesty, chores, sexuality, body image, being introverts, all in all an amazingly beautiful, honest conversation. I like real conversations. The stuff that makes you you. Not the BS adult chit chat, gossip-y conversation that normally ensues. I fucking hate small talk! Talk to me about your passions, what you are doing, your family, your dogs, pretty much anything other than, "Oh how are you? Good. You?" Ughhh! Makes me want to scream. This is why I love teens, they just talk. Sure it is hard at first to get them to open up, but once you do (the secret is food and ask lots of questions) the flood gates open and you learn more than you would ever think possible. I love, love teens for this reason. The pretense, the BS, the showmanship of one-upping each other, nada, we are just two people connecting talking about everything under the sun.

One of the questions on the interview was, "What famous person do you like?" I said Ashley Graham. For those of you who don't know who Ashley Graham is (have you been living under a rock, JK) she is a "plus size" (seriously sarcastic air quotes here, because what is deemed plus size in the fashion industry really is anything over a US size 4, when the average American woman is a 14-16!!). She has graced the cover of Sport Illustrated, Glamour, Elle, and so many other major media publications, which is her job, she's a beautiful model, but what I love her for is her activism. Her body positivity and debunking the fashion industry myth that only skinny is pretty. She is real–cellulite, stretch-marks and all. She's a size 16 and she prances around in lingerie and bikinis in shoots and on the beach. She is graceful and beautiful, yet goofy and humble. She is relatable and I think so many of us are looking for relate-ability in media now.

The girl I was speaking to, didn't know who Ashley Graham is, so I hope she looks into her and finds inspiration like I do (or at least a source that is relevant to her), but she said something amazingly profound about how we feel about ourselves based on the people we surround ourselves with. This is true! If you surround yourself with people who love themselves (not in an egocentric way), but truly love self and accept their self as they are, being around them, innately makes you feel more comfortable in your skin.

Being a teen is incredibly challenging for that very reason, you are not sure of yourself. As are none of your peers. Most of teen years are spent comparing, adjusting, judging yourself to those around you, who are just as unsure of them selves! (Are adults really any different??)

That's why I think role models, regardless of that buzzy term, let's say people in media, must show the diversity of who we are. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and colors. Stretch-marks, cellulite, rolls and all. Celebrities are unattainable and often not relatable, yet so many of us look to them for a sense of self-worth or something to compare to or judge against, but really what anyone really needs is someone to relate to. To see a bit of themselves in that person.

"If you are drawn to [someone], it is because there is already enough presence in you to recognize presence in another." Eckart Tolle

There is a level of acceptance and comfort in your own skin that comes with time, and also with stopping the rampant comparison of each other. I spent so much of my youth wishing I was shorter, had smaller boobs and butt and thighs, that my stomach was flatter and, and...but at some point you have to realize this is your body and it does amazing things for you each and every day. 

We take our bodies for granted, continually hating on the parts, not nourishing it properly, talking badly about it, sucking it in and wrapping it up, and yet it is still there each morning, pumping blood to your heart, allowing you to breathe and get out of bed. You can either spend the rest of your life self loathing and hating that body or love the pieces that make up the whole. I am by no means saying it is any easy, overnight process. It takes time. Self-love. Self acceptance. Self reflection. Movement. Proper nourishment and some meditation. And even then, some days are better than others, but we have to take them in stride. We are all our own worst critics. It is a life lesson for all of us to really be in our bodies. To accept it as it is, or change it if you really want, but in real, loving, healthy and supportive ways.

We see beauty in others and compare ourselves, often in the negative, rather than seeing the beautiful parts that are also in us. Tolle has it right, there is something in someone else that draws us to them, and you have a bit of that something in yourself. If you can see it in someone else, work to try to see it in yourself.

How to Control Your Seasonal Allergies Symptoms with Diet

I have a love/hate relationship with fall in Maine.

Yes, it is beautiful, the leaves, the cool air, the lacking of tourists and bugs, but with fall comes allergies for me. In fact researchers think nasal allergies affect about 50 million people in the United States. And allergies are increasing. They affect as many as 30% of adults and 40% of children. www.aafa.org/page/allergy-facts

I've always had allergies, it is only until I moved to Maine that they became a major problem in my life. Spring and fall have been dreaded seasons for me since I moved here and until the last few years were debilitating months.

I remember one fall being so sleep deprived because of my allergies and congestion that I couldn't sleep and when I would finally fall asleep I would wake in a panic unable to breathe lying down. All I could do was sleep sitting up with a fan directly on my face. The combination of fear of suffocating in my sleep, the exhaustion and overall stress still horrifies me to this day, as in, I never, ever want to go back to a time like that.

I know so many people who suffer with seasonal allergies and the symptoms are getting worse, not better. I used to be a statistic until I made radical lifestyle changes. Sure I can pop an OTC antihistamine or use my rescue inhaler, but that doesn't feel right for me, in fact, both are last resorts. I haven't had an active rescue inhaler prescription for the last 3+ years and I take Allegra only in a dire situation.

I have changed my approach with my seasonal allergies, as something my body is telling me, but also as a time for me to reset, which actually feels natural and in sync with the changing of the seasons. With these changes, I have been able to have mild to no seasonal allergy symptoms for the last 2 years with seasonal changes in my diet alone. 

I noticed a considerable difference in my seasonal allergy symptoms when I identified my gluten and lactose intolerances and removed those foods from my diet 6 years ago, but now I can mitigate further seasonal aggravations by eliminating nightshades and alcohol as well.

Nightshades contain alkaloids which can aggravate or even mimic seasonal allergy symptoms. Nightshades include potatoes, peppers (all kinds except black pepper), eggplants, tomatoes, tobacco and some more esoteric things like goji berries and some version of blueberries or huckleberries. Unfortunately, fall is also harvest season in our garden and almost everything coming out of the garden is a nightshade. Nightshades allergies are a problem for some even when seasonal allergies aren't being triggered and can look and feel similar to seasonal allergies, year-round. Nightshades cause inflammation and joint pain, specifically lower back pain (dead ringer for me there). The research available on nightshade allergies is abundant when you search Google, so I will let you do your own research, however, this time of year cutting out nightshades for me is a night and day difference when it comes to my allergy symptoms, so perhaps you might consider doing the same.

If I stick to a strict vegan-paleo diet, aka Pegan, coined by Dr. Mark Hyman, with no nightshades or alcohol, that is heavy on veggies, gf whole grains, beans and some animal protein and fruit, I have considerably less allergy symptoms, and I can't recall the last time I took an OTC antihistamine.

Seasonal allergy sufferers are on the rise, unfortunately, and beyond the environmental allergens around us, especially in a heavily wooded place like Maine, there are allergy inducing, inflammation triggering foods we eat every day. If we limit our intake of those foods, especially when the environmental ones are high, you have the power to control your own symptoms. It is actually a really cool revelation to have come to this point where I can see directly the foods I eat, the time of year and how by controlling what I eat in the fall and spring actually allows me the ability to not dread the standard seasonal allergy seasons. I can see fall for all it's colors and beauty instead of dreading it for all the pollen and sneezing it used to make me suffer through.

There is great power in knowing your body well enough and knowing that nourishing it with foods that support and sustain health, rather than aggravate and inflame, is amazing. It is amazing to know that if I wake up in the morning and have a congestion and a sneezing fit, all I have to do is look at what I ate the day before to realize what the culprit was.

The ability to recognize your sensitivities and triggers does not happen over night, nor are you able to associate your seasonal allergy symptoms as being triggers by potatoes or gluten or dairy, without first knowing what it feels like to not have those foods in your system, causing potential inflammation. 

The journey is challenging, but you don't have do it alone. I find the power of food and the way it makes us feel, in particular to allergies, seasonal and food related, is fascinating. It is a journey everyone should be willing to explore because knowing you have the ability to make yourself feel better just by the food choices you make in a day is powerful. You aren't relying on a pill to temporarily brain-fog-alright the symptoms away. You can learn that by simply removing a trigger for a short period of time can alleviate a multitude of symptoms that you would otherwise have to sniffle, snort, and wheeze and generally feel like crap through.

To learn more about how to control your seasonal allergy symptoms with diet, contact me at alixhealthcoach@gmail.com or visit eatbelivewell.com.

Health Russian Roulette

I have been playing Russian Roulette with my health and diet lately. Ignoring all the past-month warning signs has led to the explosive (literally :o) misery of the last 2 days. Ugghh... :(

I have been thoroughly enjoying my foodie filled summer of sunny days, long nights, plenty of BBQs and social gatherings. With these indulgences I have been lax in my typically regimented eating. I am normally gluten free and lactose free always. Minimal meat and dairy. Lots of veggies and whole gf grains. But lately, yeah...not so much. Eat it all has been my MO, cross my fingers, and hope for the best, so far it hasn't caught up with me...

Especially given the bounty of our glorious garden this year, one would think I would I would be eating veggies all-day-erry-day, which I am, BUT I am eating mostly nightshades–peppers, tomatoes, eggplants and potatoes–all of which we are harvesting aplenty right now. While I love these veggies, hence why they populate most of our garden real estate; did you know, nightshades aggravate seasonal allergies? Who knew, right?! Ever notice that your allergies are awful in the fall, ever notice how many garden fresh tomatoes you are consuming at that time, weird correlation. Nightshades cause an inflammatory response in the body and when your body is already on high inflammation alert because of the environmental allergens, the double whammy is a double sniffly-uck-fest for all those seasonal allergy sufferers. 

So while we have been subsisting on nightshades for the last month–hello fresh pasta sauce, caprese, eggplant parmesan, all of which of course must include an abundance of cheese (another food I must avoid). I have been extra "allergy-y" lately and ignoring the signs. I wake up sneezing, having sneezing fits regularly, extra drippy nose, taking my seasonal allergy meds daily, regularly feeling achy in my hips (huge red flag: In fact, scientific research suggests that up to 90% of individuals who suffer from any form of pain or discomfort in the body are sensitive to nightshades–which can trigger an inflammatory response.) I have even had this weird rash around the corners of my mouth (which in Chinese medicine is a sign of a stomach/intestinal infection/discomfort) and yet, keeping on eating my tomatoes and eggplants and cheese, and...

A cheese stuffed pepper and tomato dinner Friday night, led to horrendous gas, lower back and hip aches, and ultimately explosive, diarrhea that has lasted for 2 days now. Gross, ew, don't talk about that stuff, I know, but seriously, we have to talk about it. I have been blatantly ignoring what my body has been subtly telling me for over a month, and now here is my payment, shitting water and stomach cramping for 2 days. I am even telling myself, "I told you so!" 

Isn't it so funny how we play Russian Roulette with our health and the way we eat? We all know what makes us feel better and what is good for us–lots of water, a diet of mostly veggies, limited meat, dairy and processed foods, exercise daily, good restful sleep, yada, yada, yada–we get it! We all know what we "should" be doing and yet we don't do it. Or we do, but on a short term basis. We'll "be good" for a month, 3 months, 6, whatever the timeline is, yet most of us (there are the few that have iron-clad will power and discipline–aliens?) will test our limits, "fall off the wagon", challenge if dairy really gives me gas that clears the room as I writhe in pain, that " 'one piece of fresh whole wheat bread and butter won't kill you' "– but in fact it will. We all know our body's limits and yet we continually test them. Why is that?

We all know when, what, how and why our body is mad or explosively diarrheating all over the place because you ate too much cheese, and yet we still eat the cheese. It is funny how we do that! I know personally I get SO sick of being aware, of having to worry about bringing my own snacks, literally everywhere I go, of having to say, "Oh that looks delicious but I can't", of being the "gluten free girl" the "lactose free girl", the "what crazy thing don't you eat now, girl". I just want to eat and enjoy and live, goddamnit! I don't want to have to worry about my butt exploding or my stomach retching from the inside, or zits appearing as a warning sign that my insides are not happy! Why does my body hate all the foods I love so much?!? 

I know, I know, pity party for one. My rant is over. It has to be, as does my episode of "falling off the wagon". For the last month, that little voice in my head has been very vocal–"Oh, you know, you should really be eating better." "Umm, hello, you can't eat that!" "You'll be sorry if you keep eating like that." "You know, fall is coming–which means, heinous allergy season, you better clean up your act girlie!" What!? You don't have a guilt-tripping-nagging voice in your head all day tell you what you know is better for you?

So, fine. I am waving the white flag, since the bright neon red flags have been evident for over the last month. I surrender. I must be good or else...dun..dun..dunnnahhh! The last two days of misery are enough of a "sign" to shape up. As I write I am drinking a glorious (although horrible tasting) green juice, from all fresh veggies from our garden (and no nightshades). Side note: I have this theory that the worse it tastes, the more your body needs it. Ever notice how some green juices taste awful, while others are delish, and how even the exact same yucky one will taste fine the next time you make it? I think the same thing about wheatgrass shots, if it tastes awful and you gag at the smell of if, do it, drink it up and maybe do it again. While green juice is the last thing I want right now, I really want potato chips and wine, but given that I haven't eaten for two days, I am thinking green juice is the right nutrient boost my insides need, yes, it might give me more diarrhea, but at this point, what's a little more ammo for the explosives.

My moral of this shitting water story for you, (please learn from my lessons), our body's give us signs, small at first, then very obvious. Some of us ignore the signs, unknowingly perhaps, or intentionally. We, you, me, we all, know what our body's need. Each of us is unique in our needs, and only you can know and identify those needs. We must know those needs and also our limitations so that when the signs are there we know how to right the path. To be our own arbiters of health. To know how far you can push yourself (regardless if we should or not). 

It is a choice to choose health, and also to ignore health. If you know the difference and learn to trust that your body is your guide; so long as you learn your signs, we are all be able to achieve our optimal health.

Movement with Intent

I am not initially sure what drew me to to my yoga mat. It certainly wasn't my childhood experiences with yoga. Yoga sucked when I was a kid. All the loud breathing and ohm-ing and laying on the floor for no reason. I wanted to run around outside.

For years my athletic ability has been hard, fast and competitive. Push harder, be stronger, test the limits of my body, stamina and endurance.

I think I even may have been drawn to yoga as an adult because of the fancy poses. I really, really wanted to master a headstand, handstand and crow pose. All of which I can do, but I've realized that's not it. I also started to turn to yoga for my nagging sciatica and psoas troubles. Regular practice has made the nag non-existent, well that, and a new bed! Seriously, totally digressing here, I thought I was just working out too hard, sitting too long or holding my pigeon pose for too long. Nope! It was my bed. A recent trip to CO shed some light on the potential that my bed might be the issue. I had little to no pain while traveling and sleeping in foreign beds, yet as soon as I got home, bam, sciatica and psoas nag back in full force. We all underestimate the value of a quality bed and in turn quality sleep. If you wake up stiff or with aches and pains, consider a new bed. Seriously! So simple, but literally transformative. For months I was thinking my issues were getting worse. Each morning I was so stiff and achy.  'I must be getting old.' Nope, got a new bed; all aches and pains gone. It just occurred to me this morning that I haven't paid any notice to my sciatica in weeks! When it used to be a daily constant nag. Craziness I tell you.

OK, digressing aside, something has changed with my approach to movement. Sure there will be days where I want to do a sweaty spin session or go for a run, but lately, I would rather be more in touch with what my body is telling me than how hard my mind wants to push. 

My yoga practice lately has been more meditative and spiritual than fancy and bendy. I am more interested in poses that restore me and center me, than standing on my head. My new alter is bring a new spiritual awareness that I have never felt so strongly. 

Something has shifted and I can't even really put words to properly describe the shift. But the take-away I hope to share, is listening to your body. So many of us need to push harder, be stronger, sweat more, but there is something about connecting with your body, soul and spirit in your movement. Sure you can sweat. But do what feels good, not what you "should" be doing, not another rep to finish the round or holding chaturanga until you collapse.

There is something to be said about movement with intent, with love, and I think that is the true practice, move your body because you love it, not because you want to punish it, or yourself. Sit still and listen to your breathing because you want a deeper connection with loving yourself.

Sometimes the harder we push the more resistance we get, maybe stop pushing so hard. Maybe surrender. I know, it's hard and surrender is scary, but so is learning to love self. Surrendering to yourself and then "shoulds" and the self-competition is healing. Don't worry if your definition of "exercise" is the same as anyone else's. And also allow it to change. As a person who has spent years pushing my body as hard as possible until it ached, I think there might be something to listening, embracing, loving, accepting and moving my body and mind to connect more to my heart. Move with the intent to love self. And listen to your body, it will tell you the movement you need.

We All Have Shit Days

This morning I woke up cranky. Like binge-watch crappy reality TV, stay in my PJs til 3 pm, eating a bowl of popcorn the size of my head, and drinking before noon cranky. I didn't want to see anyone, do anything–even the dogs were annoying me! That is saying something!

So I angry cleaned, but that didn't even work. Cleaning was making me crankier, whaa?! Angry cleaning often makes my mood better, or at least the clean house does.

So I just surrendered. I accepted my cranky bitchiness, plopped down on the couch and watched embarrassingly bad reality TV. It was deeply satisfying. After some leftover heated up scalloped potatoes, scrambled eggs and too many cups of coffee, I still wanted to throat punch everyone that crossed my path (no I did not actually throat punch anyone, I stayed home for this reason); I mustered up some energy to get the few things I needed to do today, done. I reluctantly peeled myself off the couch, half-assedly put on yoga pants, like somehow that is an acceptable equivalent to PJ pants (trust, I contemplated wearing PJs in public today. NO I did not, don't judge) and ventured out, hoping to holy hell I saw no one and didn't have to talk to anybody. Don't even get me started on the irritation level when I got to the place and had to wait 30 minutes because they were closed for lunch, "Seriously, who needs to eat lunch?!" (See the irrational anger of the day!)

I finally got home which took longer than expected, I barely dressed enough to be seen in public and 30+ minutes was passed the point of safely not running into someone I know.

Of course the dogs are pleading for their daily walk, "Fuckiing dogs! God why did I get dogs?? DoggsAH!! I don't like doggsah, whhhatt do you waaant from meeeee??!" (It's bad people!)

But I took them on a walk to the post office, which is not a regular walk for us. It is relatively short and on a really busy road with no sidewalk, but they seemed to enjoy it, and shockingly so did I.

Now that I had my "must dos" done, it is time for the PJs to go back on, the wine to come out, the buttery, salty goodness to coat my finger tips and epic bitch battles of all that is reality TV to commence...but wait...that is not exactly how it played out.

I came home. Doggies panting and happy. I didn't get the buttery salt kernels going, instead I made an Asian coleslaw with napa cabbage, red cabbage, sliced, raw poblano pepper, fermented cabbage, ginger, carrots, sunflower seeds, sesame seeds, garbanzo beans in a white miso, honey, garlic, rice vinegar, Braggs liquid aminos, and sesame oil dressing. It was delicious and crunchy and salty and nutritious (clearly not an important goal of mine today). And surprisingly I am less eager to drink wine, shame watch TV and shove popped corn in my mouth.

The takeaway as to why I am sharing with you my irrational ire that has perpetuated throughout this crappy day...acknowledge, accept and even embrace where you are emotionally. Don't try to ignore it. Say out loud, "I am feeling fill in the blank (crabby, bitchy, cranky, moody, emotional, throat punchy, hangry) and I love and accept myself." It is okay to have a shit day, a shit mood, hell, a shit period in life, it happens to everyone. Rather than unleash the self hate and loathing; acknowledge, love and accept that you are human, that you have emotions, hormones or a deeply twisted relationship with popcorn and just allow yourself to be that. It too shall pass. Or maybe it occurs to you that you are PMSing hard core and that explains all the craziness! Seriously don't mess with a bitch PMSing, get her whatever she wants and slowing back out of the room. Even saying out loud, especially to your significant other, "I am PMSing hard right now," is SO valuable! To you and your significant other AND your relationship. They don't take it personally. They understand your need to eat everything in sight and will be more likely to do a junk food run for you. Win, win. And no petty fights.

Don't be ashamed of your emotions, head space, or general meh-ness. Accepting it, allowing it space to be, then pass and even kindly reminding those around you that you aren't always a heinous bitch, will allow them to give you space, and still love you once it's passed. Oh, and a little bit of exercise really, really, like really, helps with a shitty mood. Yes, I know, it is the last thing you want to do, but even 5-10 minutes, seriously, just walk, you'll be amazed! Seriously, I am somewhat amazed that I don't have butter running down my chin right now.

Lastly, my whatever meh-ness today reminded me of a simple interaction while standing in line at a cash register yesterday. The woman in front of me had two fussy kids, a cart full of baby necessities, and a bunch of cards and coupons in her hands. The kids were flailing and fussing. The mom scanned each item with her phone before placing it on the conveyer belt (coupons?) and then ended up paying with 5 different cards. Every few seconds telling her kids to be quiet, or sit still and wait. I stood watching the whole thing, thinking well poo I picked the wrong line, thinking 1 person would be faster then the other line of 3, ha ha. Rather than switch lines, rather than judge, I stood there and observed. The mom got more and more irritated. The kids couldn't do anything right. The kids were getting louder and louder and the cashier was judging SO hard, that by the time I got to the register she made a noise, an eye roll and a geez-head nod, like "get a load of that." I didn't engage immediately as I think she was hoping, you know, get on the judge-y train. Instead I said, "She looks like she is having a rough day." The cashier looked surprised and then went, "Awww." Like how sweet, I guess. I didn't think much more of the interaction, other than we ALL need to be less judgmental of each other (me included!). If we interact with everyone with compassion and love, then judgment doesn't have a place.

So I sincerely hope that in all my bitchy, throat punching thoughts, ire-filled morning while running my few errands, no one was judging me and not understanding I really would rather have been on my couch in all my PJ-princess, bitchy glory. We all have those days. For all you know that is the day the lady in front of you in line with the screaming kids is having.

Remember compassion for self and others. This has been my lesson over the last two days.