OMG I Didn't Die!

Last weekend was A's birthday and we decided to head to Portland to celebrate. We always talk about going, yet manage to watch months/years pass by before we make it down there. We manage a beach trip around my birthday at least once a year to Old Orchard, typically only stopping in Whole Foods, right off 295, for our coffees and snacks for the 3 hour ride home.

This time we went to Portland to do Portland proper. We stayed right in town, biting the bullet and paying the extra $100-ish to be within walking distance of everything, and have a water view! Oooo snazzy, right?! A man only turns 36 once!

A and I had not been to Portland in the proper-do-it-up-Portland-way since the food scene really burst. If you do not know, or have not heard (do you live in a cave?) Portland is food heaven. I want enough time, money and a-not-give-a-shit-attitude to get gargantuan fat on all the deliciousness that Portland has to offer. And in all my attempts to hit the best rated places and stay up to date with mutual foodie drooling friends, I always manage to be somewhat behind the newest gotta-go-there-place. Le sigh! If only someone wanted to fund my gluttonous happy growth into obesity. Any takers?

It is probably good we don't live in Portland. All income would go to food and booze. We love trying new food, seeing new restaurants. We love people watching with good cocktails and the options in Portland are endless.

There are my go-to favs that I had not had the chance to take A to yet. Like I said we are normally passing through, so either it is convenience over waiting in line, say at Duckfat (Drool! He STILL doesn't know what he is missing. I have tried to make him stand in the around-the-block-line 3 times now, each time he complains and doesn't want to wait....if ONLY he knew!!! How can anything ever not be worth a wait when it is fried/grilled in duck fat? Duck fat?! And Belgium fries, with sauces you want to slather all over your body and a cold brew...I can't! But apparently A can't wait in line long enough to get to the point of drooling, which inevitably happens when the name is even mentioned. If only he knew! And if only he would wait in the damn line!)

Duckfat deliciousness. Photo courtesy of justaddcheese.com.

So although we didn't make it to Duckfat yet again, we made it our mission to gallivant around, try a drink and a nibble, at the places I wanted to take him to or those that caught our eye along the way. We were fat (in a reasonable, still gluttonous, but not protruding sort of a way. I realize gargantuan doesn't happen in one night (try as I might).) and well boozed by the end of the night. 

Walter's calamari

It was SO much fun. Everything, as always, was amazing. Walter's calamari - oh yeah - "best calamari [he's] ever had!" Zapoteca's habanero watermelon margaritas, die! Salsas, so different and cool. Guac! ::drooly face:: Local 188 is always a great venue, great for people watching, awesome, quirky bartenders, AHmazing drinks (and food, which we didn't have this time). We visited so many other places they're starting to blend together. Mmmmm.

Zapoteca quac

Oh and PS Portland has food trucks now, after last call, more gluttonous gluttony available all hours of the night. But I had one place in mind to fill the late night munchies - Otto's pizza. Drool. Sigh. Let me pause while I wipe my chin. I haven't been to Otto's since I went gluten free 4 years ago and even then, there was a lull between the cutting out of gluten and eating a slice of Otto's. If I had planned better, I would have gorged myself on a whole pie, probably died from suffocation or constipation, or both, but man I would have died happy. 

Otto's pizza is my idea of a perfect slice, to which they serve into the wee hours of the night, after boozy people flood the streets of Portland. It is cracker thin crust, with just enough chew that you gotta pull, the dough is slightly sour, the toppings range from typical to amazeballs. Every slice I have ever had is delicious. We hoofed it up to Otto's just as bars we pushing people out and A ordered 4 slices as I audibly sighed and moaned, bitterly living vicariously through him. I watched as he bit into his slices, cheese squish noises emanating with each bite, a dribble of grease down his chin, crispy pepperoni......I. Was. Dieing. It was torture watching him. All night long I watched him eat things I couldn't. Things I knew how good they tasted, because since the first time I ever tried them, all I wanted to do was take A so he could enjoy in all my food salivating glory. And here we were doing exactly what I wanted to experience with him as I sent death rays into his forehead as he ate my delicious, my lovable, MY amazing Otto's pizza! How. Dare. He. What the F was I thinking??

OOOOhhh AND to top it all off he didn't like the potato, bacon, scallion pizza!!! WHHAAAaa!!?? I don't like you! (I actually think I said that to him.) Sure bacon, garlic mashed potato and scallion pizza sounds weird (I had the same initial thoughts) but no, it is truly amazing! It is all I ever want whenever we pass Otto's. And he didn't like it!! Enough was enough, the torture was killing me and the dagger to my heart that "those ingredients don't belong on a pizza" BS I ripped it out of his hands and took 2 very large, perfectly greasy, potato-y, bacon-y, cheese-yum bites and closed my eyes. It was just as delicious as I had remembered. Only better. It took everything in my mind to not eat the whole damn slice. I was horrified and slightly concerned I might keel over and die right outside Otto's. I took one last bite, knowing full well I was going to be hating myself within the next few hours, if not definitely by morning.


But here is the thing.....I didn't die! I didn't even have breathing problems. Or a lump in my throat. Nor was I constipated in the morning. I ate gluten and I didn't die!?! Holy crap! I don't know if it was the booze that buffered my typical reaction. Or the fact that is was the pizza of the gods. Or all the walking, who the hell knows?? Either way the inevitable doom I anticipated never came.

The famous Otto's bacon, scallion, potato pizza.

That by no means means I started shoveling gluten down my throat left and right (thank god we left Portland the next morning). But I took my non-reaction as a sign from the Otto's pizza gods that I was supposed to eat 3 bites of their pizza, so all would be right in the world again. And also so the potato, bacon, scallion pizza would not be insulted by A's lame "it doesn't belong on pizza" comment! Shhh, Otto's pizza I still love you (queue petting motion). You don't know until you know and apparently A just doesn't get it.

The reality is I didn't die probably because I have not had gluten in 4 years. My villi are happy. My gut is happy. By bowels like me (most of the time) and the experts say every once in a while, when your gut flora and GI tract are super healthy, even for extremely gluten sensitive people, a wee bit of gluten won't hurt you. And by wee I mean probably no more than the 3 bites I had. I cannot tell you how desperately I wanted to eat the whole slice. But even through my boozy haze I knew better and my strong will stuck by me as I put down the slice of amazingness, still glaring at A due to his sheer stupidity. But at least he had Otto's amazing pizza and got to enjoy the glory of Portland food heaven with me in all proper birthday gluttony (even though I secretly resented him most of the night). Love you dear, happy 36th!

Zapoteca watermelon habanero rita. Ole!

Green Juice is Festive Right?

The holiday season is challenging on every one's diet and health management, especially for those of us with food restrictions. Restricted either by choice or necessity, the holidays challenge your every food decision. There are so many social events, holiday parties, foods you only eat once a year (so you excuse eating them because it is that one time you will), excess alcohol (hey, it is celebratory), sweets, dairy, meat galore, you name it is there and it is tempting and calling your name; and try as you might to be strong, girl, you gonna cave. Don't feel bad, we all do.

Holiday menus are aimed to please a crowd, tempting most every one's inner glutinous-self, but completely alienating vegetarian, non-lactose, non-processed, non-gluten, non-sugar, non-whatever eating people. When have you ever been to a party with tempeh, collard wraps, chia pudding and green juice, yeah, not so festive, eh?

I struggle with the need to be festive and involved, but also know that my intestines, stomach and bowel movements will suffer. So I balance that teeter totter at most get togethers. If you are anything like me, inevitably, you will falter and stray from your regular eating routine, maybe even you exercise routine as well, in the spirit of the season.

I can only stray so far and so often before it catches up to me. At first I have no reaction and I deceivingly think "oh yeah, I can keep indulging," and do; but then inevitably the flatulence starts. If you are lactose intolerant you know that belly retching and nostril burning flatulence that comes when you slip and eat something from the cheese platter, or mistake a cheese sauce for a non-dairy white sauce, first comes the stinky, room clearing farts (hopefully you have people who love you anyway, despite your stinkyness, and hopefully the gas doesn't start until you leave the party). Then comes the cravings. Ever notice the worse you eat the more you want bad food? Did you know it is designed that way? It is called food science and food snackability (damn scientists playing with our yummy factor weaknesses). I am all for giving into a craving normally, within reason. But the reality of it is, the cleaner you eat the less your cravings will be for "bad" things. You will actually crave the foods that nourish, sustain and make you feel better. Because feeling good is actually contagious and once you know the difference all you want to do is stay on the feeling good side. When I slip, even just once or twice, I notice my stomach and whatever other chemical make up inside me, says "ooh, just one more," or "you've been good, go ahead." For me this voice doesn't exist most of the time, only when I find myself in a food rut with too many deviations, which unfortunately happens around the holidays.

My eating routine was initially thrown off with my trip to Spain, which again is inevitable. Try as you might, traveling throws off your eating, sleeping and exercise patterns, getting them back can be challenging. Having holidays back-up into your return from a trip is even more challenging. Who knew? Only in hindsight I guess...

I have been deviating enough that I have gone through all my warning signs my body provides to alert me it is not happy. I can ignore them, which we all do at some time (or maybe some of us never knew that they were signs at all...start listening), but ignoring will eventually cause me great discomfort. First comes the stinky gas, then the weird cravings, then the mood swings (everybody annoys me, I want to be alone all the time, only a glass of wine makes a crappy day better, work is extra stressful...), then the desire to not want to exercise kicks in. Then the "bottomless pit syndrome" happens, which is the feeling I get when I am eating substance lacking foods, so I am hungry all the time and even after I just finished eating, I want to eat more. Which is also coupled with overeating on a regular basis. I never overeat when I am eating balanced and clean. I detest the feeling of being full, especially overly full, where you can feel the food in your throat. Normally I eat just to that satiated feeling and stop, actually erring on the side of still slightly hungry. But when I am bulldozing through my body warnings, I eat, eat and then eat some more, often feeling icky after. Then comes the irregular bowel movements due to all the overeating and odd foods, first diarrhea, coupled with some face pimples, the kind that are red and hurt; then comes the irritability and restless sleeping. Lastly is the constipation. The funny thing is, as well as I know the sequence of symptoms, I still ignore them from time to time.

A little rant - sometimes, especially during the holidays, it would be nice to eat whatever the hell I want. To indulge in all the glutenous treats, cheese, creamy-whatevers, meats, dips, boozeyness that the holidays perpetuate. It would be nice to get 1 month or even 1 week to go hog wild. I mean sure I can do this, and sometimes, like now, I push it too far, and I feel the miserable repercussions, making it SO not worth it. But sometimes, just sometimes, it would be nice.....

But you know what, the reality is that I want to always feel good, vibrant, healthy, capable, strong and in tune with my body. It not have those things is not worth the sacrifice of any food indulgence, for 1 day even. I always regret it the next day, because I know the value and the difference of feeling better by eating better.

So what do I do when I have gone through all the warning signs, ignoring them along the way, leading to miserableness. I go cold turkey. I know better and I know my body prefers better, so I eat the things to bring me back to center. I always start with a juice cleanse for 3 days. Halting all the discomfort and press all my own super green, super sludgy, super nasty juices and drink lots of ginger tea and water. The 3 day juice cleanse gets my mind and my body out of the over indulgent holiday food gutter. It clears my head, my skin, my bowel movements. My sleep is regulated again and is restful. For me, a juice cleanse is like hitting the reset button. It rejuvenates my tortured body. The first day is normally excruciating. Coming off my indulgent food hormonal roller coaster, not continuing to give into that gremlin-feed-me-voice is tough. And for whatever reason green juice tastes particularly nasty the first day of a cleanse (well that, and the last day, ha). But I know I will wake in the morning feeling 50% better than I did today. And the next 100%.

With my immediate juice cleanse also comes a clarity of mind and restoring self, and the days, weeks prior, where I juggled wine yoga, wine yoga, and most likely defaulted to wine, is immediately erased. Yoga and juice cleanses go hand in hand and with one you want the other, even when you force one. They both are so centering and nourishing that it reminds you why you choose this path as part of your usual health and wellness balance.

So here's a cheers with my green juice to the holidays. May yours be festive and bright, but remember your green juice and yoga. Try to maintain a sense of balance and don't over indulge. Or do, then here me say, "I told you so" (learn from my constipation), then do a juice cleanse.

Tricks for Traveling Internationally with Food Allergies

I recently traveled internationally for the first time since being gluten and lactose free. Last time I travelled internationally I enjoyed baguettes, croissants, cheeses, meats and food galore in France. I knew I would enjoy taking photos of such things this time around, but my days of eating foreign cuisine with abandon is no longer. I have done plenty of domestic travel, which I have figured out tricks and my rhythm. I knew I could translate those tricks, but international travel posed a bigger challenge, mostly a language barrier. At first I was nervous, given the language barrier and the fact that I also choose vegetarianism on top of the necessity of being gluten and lactose free; and I was traveling to Spain, meat, cheese, bread erryday, erry meal-land.

Traveling as a whole, poses dietary problems: eating out often, eating when food is available due to travel limitations and not knowing when your next resources will be be available, eating odd things (gotta try the local cuisine), eating because you are starving, or tired of walking. You name it, all natural food rhythms and habits are thrown off whack – not even considering time changes, body rhythm changes, irregular bowel movements, too much sitting, a lot of walking... Traveling asks a lot of you and your natural rhythm. But that is part of the excitement of travel; it expands you, changes your perspective, offers an alternative to what you know, and asks a lot of you in different ways that your day to day life doesn't. I think that is why we all endure the heinousness of travel, small airplane seats, crappy airplane/airport food, airports as a whole, mass-transit – because travel makes us better, more empathic and understanding, people.

Traveling anywhere, but specifically to a foreign country, I upped the ante of my traveling arsenal. I normally pack snacks, supplements and fiber galore when I travel anywhere, this time we packed more. Snacks included: raw almonds, hard boiled eggs, dried fruits, carrots, raw goji chunks, almond butter sandwiches on gf bread, fresh fruit. Supplements included: probiotics, ground flaxseed, flaxseed oil, liquid minerals, chia seeds, phsyllium husk, Vitamin D, C, B, activated charcoal in case of upset stomach, necessities we knew we would not easily find while traveling. I always take more supplements than I would at home when I travel just because I know I am not eating as balanced of a diet and also some lose their potency, i.e. probiotics, due to the lack of regular refrigeration. So up the volume to ensure you get the true benefits of your supplements.

I also did my research before we left. I looked into popular Spanish foods and their typical preparation. Part of my saving grace eating out at home is I love food and I have tried to cook many different types of foods. I often know how a dish is traditionally prepared. With an English menu I can normally breakdown the preparation, a Spanish menu is a whole 'nother story! I know very little Spanish, and even then it is Southern Californian Mexican-Spanish. As I learned Spanish-Spanish and Mexican-Spanish are not the same. I could deduce some words with my many years of French, but still, not really. I figured knowing popular Spanish dishes would be helpful: case in point, gazpacho in Spain is made with bread in it - who knew? Whenever I have had gazpacho or the many instances I make it with the glut of the tomato season, I never put bread in it. Glad I learned that the easy way! Research is always a good thing. I bought The Gluten-Free Guide to Spain by Maria Ann Roglieri, PhD, as a safety precaution, but only read it before I traveled. I never opened it there, nor referenced it. And what info it provided I found with an hour or so of Google searching and familiarizing myself with the Spanish cuisine. Save the luggage space.

The two crucial things I learned were: "Yo soy celiaco" and "Sin gluten". While I have never been tested for celiac disease I am fairly certain I am, just by my incredible sensitivity now. I can't even open a bag of regular flour without sneezing and getting an itchy throat and eyes. I figured "yo soy celiaco" (I am celiac) wound indicate the severity of my allergy without any room for error. I also brought a food allergy card, which many websites recommend as back up, but I never felt the need to use it. Knowing how to say I have celiac disease in the language lead me in the safest direction each time.

We found most people understood and were extremely accommodating when we said "yo soy celiaco." Sometimes they would ask does that mean "sin gluten?" Waitstaff were accommodating, between their rough English and our very rough Spanish they helped us navigate menus and even ordered off the menu for us. We had some incredible meals with tons of vegetables and plenty of garlic and olive oil (they are not shy with either, which we loved – like home cooking). Gluten seemed to be confused with dairy, corn and oddly potatoes. But all in all, we had no adverse reactions while traveling in Spain. Phew!

The other of way of controlling your limited diet while traveling is to not eat out for every meal, but to find a nearby grocery store or market and stock up on foods you know you can eat with no problem. Albeit you might get bored of the same things after a week or more, at least you know what you are eating. Spain had beautiful outdoor markets – mercados – filled with fresh fruits, veggies, meats, cheeses, seafood, you name it. They were amazing! We never ate breakfast out. We would stock up on plain greek yogurt, incredibly delicious fresh fruit (the fruit in Spain is amazing) and raw nuts. We would get items to tie us over in case we didn't want to venture out after a long day of exploring, exhausted, struggling to navigate a menu in a foreign language. We would get veggies galore: tomatoes, carrots, peppers, onions; fruit: grapes, bananas, apples (for my gf traveling companion, I can't eat apples or any stone fruit), citrus. We got many different kinds of nuts and dried fruit; some goat cheeses, which I have minimal reactions to. Luckily we found a Mediterranean packaged brand of Spanish vegetarian foods with a very clean ingredient list. They were marked with the European gluten free symbol. We started with trepidation, eating only small amounts waiting for reactions, but when they didn't come we enjoyed spinach with chickpeas and roasted peppers and artichokes in oil with abandon. These were a nice find that made our grocery store meals feel more complete.

I have to say traveling with a gluten free, vegetarian and health-conscious-minded friend made all the difference in the world. We understood each other's limitations. We could navigate menus together, putting our butchered Spanish together to make sense of items. Being with someone who placed importance on having provisions to tide us over was so nice. There was never a struggle of hunger and exhaustion, while trying to navigate a foreign menu, with very limited options for a gf, lf, vegetarian diner – forcing a meal out, which inevitably leads to poor choices and possible allergic reactions.

Eating vegetarian was also easier than I expected. I had read before we left that Spanish think a dish is vegetarian even if it includes pork "for flavoring". We were able to eat little to no meat while we were there, mostly fish and at towards the end of the trip we purchased a small roasted chicken (I think we were looking for something comforting and substantial). We never experienced a lacking of fresh vegetables and vegetarian options. We consciously chose simple vegetable dishes to avoid hidden unknowns. I tried some of the cured meats, risky I know, but Spain is known for their Iberica jamon and cured meats, I felt I had to at least try a little. I was able to find some "sin gluten," which was reassuring. And yum!

All in all, traveling internationally was less daunting that expected being a special-needs-diner. Doing research prior to traveling on traditional cuisine in the area and relying on grocery store and market finds, as go-to provisions, allowed us the flexibility to explore and enjoy without the concern of not being able to eat a clean meal. Preparedness and a willingness to eat simply allows for enjoyable traveling experiences. And as much as I love food and I can't indulge in all the delicacies of a foreign country's cuisine like I used to, I was still able to navigate and eat smart, yet still get a sense of the delicious cuisine of the country.

For the Love and Hate of Travel

I have a love/hate relationship when it comes to traveling. On one side I feel like traveling is a significant part of life: the cultural expansion, new scenery, different perspectives of other lives, etc. On the flip side the side is the physical part of traveling and that means airports. Meh! Airplanes with uncomfortably close seating, a plethora of germ-y airspace shared with hundreds of people (and you know they never wipe anything down) and crappy non-real food.

Don't get me wrong I will take any excuse to go on a vacay, but there is so much prep before and after a trip so that my guts don't got into super-mad-mode, which means erratic pooping, dark circles under my eyes and subsequent irritability. Typically the three days before I leave for a trip I will do a juice cleanse and then the first three days home I will do a juice cleanse. It is so hard to control how, what and when you eat when you travel that, although I try to be nice to my body, it is inevitable that my system is knocked off kilter. I figure by giving it a break before and after the unusual consumptions of a trip, I can help ease the stress travel puts on my body, just a bit.

If you are a whole-food-eating, vegetarian, gluten and lactose free, as clean as possible eating person, airports are the death star and they expect you to die. The best you can hope for is a paltry salad of iceberg lettuce and some very sad looking, machine cut veggie-ish looking vegetables, that probably have no nutritional value left; with some creamy, dairy-based dressing and some croutons (again with the f-ing croutons!). In recent years, some airports have made attempts. There is the occasional Freshie Fresh or other fresh-sounding stands that sell rock hard unripe fruits (non-organic mind you), trail mix (non-gf mind you), nuts, and some pre-cut veg or fruit cups. On the rare occasion in larger hubs you are lucky to find some accommodating places. I think last time I was in San Diego, there was a venue that sold fresh food, like unique chopped salads not in creamy dressings, with nuts and seeds, a kale salad (yay, trendy veggies), but then again I was in CA. CA is always progressive in their food options.

Airport food, I get it, is about convenience, and convenience often comes in the form of meat between two slabs of gluten. Options for those of us who eat "alternative" are sad at best.

A little aside: Since when did eating whole, real, unprocessed foods become the alternative way of eating? Didn't we evolve from hunter-gatherers, eating berries and greens foraged in nature. Eating something mass produced, packaged, filled with chemicals to make it shelf stable for eons and processed is the alternative way of eating. Since when did a Neanderthal pick a Twinkie off a bush?

Moving on.....

On the rare occasion you find something reasonable in an airport, you are most likely looking at, some sad fruit, overly sugared yogurt, overly salted nuts and a sad salad that basically is water and pesticides. Oh an don't even get me started on drink options. Water is ungodly expensive at $3 for a small plastic bottle of water, that takes two sips to finish. People have no idea how much water I drink! And airplanes are always so drying. (And yes, I am totally that person asking to get by to pee multiple times on a flight. P.S. you don't want to sit next to me).

Knowing options are limited in airports, I pack all my food with me, along with an empty BPA-free water bottle to fill up once I'm through security. My most recent trip I noticed some airports encouraging bringing your own water bottles. Some airports now have water bottle filling apparatus as part of the drinking fountains. Nice. (Although I do wonder how filtered it is...) My philosophy with air travel is eat less, be hungry. Another joyful side effect of flying for me is gas. I think it is the stagnation and constant sitting for long periods of times. My guts don't like the forced stillness and with that comes gas, so the less I eat the less gas I have. I typically pack cut fruits and veggies, raw organic almonds, carob chunks, hard boiled eggs, gf raisin bread with organic nut butter, things that are easy to pack and easy to eat. I would give anything to take some plain yogurt with me, but unfortunately that is too liquid-y for TSA, but couldn't airport food stands offer plain, organic yogurt cups alongside the other sugar, dye laden goo.

I wish there were options for people of like mind and lifestyle to me. Traveling is stressful for everyone, there are a lot of people in very tight quarters so having and feeding a healthy immune system is crucial. Wouldn't it be great if all airports had organic juice bars with fresh pressed juices, wheatgrass, real smoothies, not just sugar, with flax, spirulina, sunflower seeds, Omegas, liquid minerals, etc. as ingredients; where salads were made of real, bitter, immune boosting chlorophyll-filled greens with seeds and nuts, ie real "health food"? Oh how I wish.

I don't even bother looking anymore because there is never a choice for me. I understand they try with Jamba Juice smoothie-ish type smoothies and salads stations, but really the only thing I look forward to when I'm in an airport is my rarely-only-consumed-when-traveling soy latte from Starbucks, but even then, why can't they offer almond milk?

So while I am always really excited to travel and experience the world, I am always reminded oh right I have to go through the death star of starvation, dehydration, germs and excessive gas to get to the other side.

Yay, bon voyage!